Dressing to Cope, and Feelings of Hope

It's been a while.

Let's just say that 2019 was so hectic that the thought of sitting down to write a thought out blog post was far too overwhelming. I kicked off the year having a go at working a fashion industry job... and I hated it! It made me realise that this love of fashion would only remain if it was on my terms; the fashion retail head office world was incredibly unpleasant, unethical, and everything I did felt largely pointless. I left that nonsense, re-evaluated my life, had a positive coming out experience with my family (honestly if I can get through that, I can get through anything!) sewed up a storm, got into resin crafts, and with conventions booked in from London to Glasgow, it made for what ended up being a really exciting time. There is no feeling like seeing people light up over work that you lovingly produced, and I think that's as far as my connection with "the industry" will ever go!

MCM London Comic Con October 2019!

Still...the year ended with me feeling inexplicably anxious. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I had this strange feeling that something big was going to happen, and I needed to be financially prepared for it. My shop is my baby, but far from anything resembling a full time wage. Time for to sort a career path out once and for all.

2020 started off a little shaky, but by March I was back in a regular 9-5 situated really close to my house, and with bosses completely supportive of me running my small business in my free time (in fact, my website was a huge part of me landing the role!). I do e-commerce merchandising-- that is, improving the functionality of the online shop of a huge company, and I absolutely love it. I don't suppose my 21-year-old self fresh out of uni 5 years ago would have thought this is where I'd end up, but all the bad roles, weird roles, and skills I've picked up along the way have found me doing something that finally feels right. Getting to be creative every single day is the most wonderful thing, and for the first time in my working life I don't dread Mondays.

Of course, March time coincided with the COVID-19 situation beginning to get out of control in the UK. After being in my new workplace for a couple weeks, we were sent to work from home. It took some getting used to, and I still find the huge Microsoft Teams meetings painfully awkward... but I've settled into a new routine, and give thanks every day that this is currently an option even available to me, and that both I and my loved ones are safe. There's likely to be more furloughing on the horizon. All I can do is continue to put my all into what I do, and hope things will work out in the end.

Super simple summer look to video chat with a dear friend for 5 hours!

I've found it really helpful during this time to act as though I'm physically heading out of the house to work. I do my makeup and hair like I normally would, and try to wear fun, yet comfortable outfits to keep my spirits up. I feel so much more like myself than if I wore PJs all the time, and I like the direction my style has been moving into as of late.

A typical work from home look~

I did the unthinkable and got a few pairs of trousers and I'm loving the ease of coordinating that comes with that! My favoured trouser cut has always been flares, but it's been several years since they've been so readily available. My teenage wannabe 70s glam rock self would be so happy for me, honestly, because I've been waiting since then for it to happen!

Loving 70s flares/bell bottoms, and vintage fashions in general! They feel so cosy.

Gosh, fashion makes me so happy. It can tell so many stories. It comes in endless styles and cuts and colours and vibes. I love that.

It's hard not to feel worried and distressed during a time like this. I'm constantly scared for family and friends, and it's incredibly hard not being able to see my girlfriend (though our constant video calls give me life). I often feel disconnected from people's lives and yet unsure how to check up on them, or if we're even "still friends". That's what this sort of isolation does to people, and I constantly have to give myself a stern talking to, lest the negative thoughts and insecurities begin to take control. We're all struggling, and withdrawing is absolutely a coping mechanism for a lot of people.

All I can do is focus on the good, take joy from the little things, and not be too hard on myself about "wasting" the additional free time I now have from no work commute, conventions being cancelled, and shop orders dwindled. To still be here and still be smiling and still be so happy to put on a fun new outfit is a huge achievement! I love to think of the things I'll do and the adventures I'll go on once all this is over. I want to take trains to beautiful locations, walk along the beach, and trek across lush terrain. I want to go on road trips and sit in my favourite local café once more for a huge slice of carrot cake. These simple things give me so much hope.

New wall art for my bedroom, to keep the space cheerful and fluffy! Stopping to look at it calms me down.

How are you all doing? I know it's not easy. Do share the happy things that are helping you to get by right now. I'd love to hear about it, particularly how to stay connected with people!

Thank you so much for reading, especially if you are still here after my long absence! I binned the old blog layout as I couldn't navigate it to save my life so things are back to basics, and I think it's actually much better! What do you think? See you next time ❤