Thursday, 19 March 2015

Life Decisions and Lots of Sewing

I feel so bad about neglecting my blog but I'll be honest and say I had nothing to talk about. No new purchases, no big events, nothing. I haven't been feeling particularly inspired to write for those reasons. However, I am in a more positive place now.

I think lolita fashion has had an unbelievable impact on my life, from how I want to present myself to the world, to the very decisions I make as I try to navigate it. If you have been following me for a while, you will know that my experience of university was incredibly negative. It sucked a lot of energy from me, and made me constantly feel inadequate. While getting through it, all I had was, well, fashion to lift my spirits.

The past few uni-free months have been an unexpected time of self discovery. It must be all the free time to just... think. Exist. Figure things out. I have been working on my indie brand since 2013 but my studies kept me from devoting as much time to it as I would have liked. In the last few months, with full days to spend how I like, I've been able to come incredibly far. While that's been happening, I've been looking for jobs and failing miserably. I've had pressure from family, who expect that somehow, because I have a degree, I will quickly and painlessly fall into some grand corporate career making lots of money. Yeah, life doesn't work like that. But more importantly, that's not what I want out of life.

Me and my stall at a local vintage event in February 2015. 
One thing I've learnt over time is that life isn't set in stone. You are allowed to change your mind, and you're allowed to make decisions you didn't think you would even a year previously. So much has changed in a short space of time, and I think that by being open to that change, you will find out things about yourself you never knew. I never in a million years thought I would be doing this... sewing, drawing patterns, coming up with designs, trying to find events to sell at, etc. I used to be terrified of ever sharing my hopes and dreams, or even attempting to make them come true. These days, I feel a lot more self assured and a lot more motivated.

I'm no longer sat telling myself I'm a failure for not having a high flying, academic career (even if other people are). I'm no longer allowing people to make me feel silly for wanting to expand my business. Sure, I am most likely going to have to get a "sensible" career going to support myself all the while. But I'm working hard, I am ambitious, and I believe in myself. Now is the only opportunity I will ever have to try this, while I'm young and not running the risk of losing my house if it doesn't work out, so I'm taking it with both hands.

I like using gingham fabric. There definitely needs to be more gingham in lolita!
I have been given the chance to both work at, and have a collection of my brand's items in a local handmade boutique, something I am super excited about. Shops selling lolita or j-fashion specific items are few and far between in the UK. There's Sai Sai in Camden, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head. It would be great if there was somewhere else people could go to, especially in my area, where there is an established community of j-fashion enthusiasts, and yet not enough of a "scene" for anything alternative shopping-wise. I'm taking on a massive task, and I need to get it right. I am planning on stocking bloomers, berets, collars, and hair accessories, but eventually I hope to be making bigger, main items, if there's demand for it. Advertising will also be key. I'm nervous, but ultimately, I'm ready for the challenge!

I tell you all this with some trepidation. I am always expecting everything to go wrong-- a habit I am slowly unlearning. Please wish me luck in my endeavours! I will be incredibly busy, but I will make sure I am still checking in here as regularly as possible with outfit posts, reviews, updates, and more lifestyle lolita musings. Gotta love those. 

Tomorrow there will be a solar eclipse, a super moon, and it will also be the spring equinox. I have a really good feeling about it! Thanks for reading, and I hope you are all well! I look forward to your comments, and will see you next time.