Season Finales and Festive Fun 🎆

Last week at work was an incredibly bizarre one, filled with the sorts of unexpected twists and turns you'd find in the season finale of your favourite drama series. There was my resignation letter, followed by a tense atmosphere and retaliatory incidents at the hands of my sociopath manager that my fellow colleagues didn't deserve. There was me crying while I talked to an HR rep about the fact I couldn't bring myself to stay in such a toxic environment any longer. There was a game-changing conversation between myself and someone I never would have expected to have developed a connection with. This person... oh goodness, this person confided in me about something they hadn't told anyone else in the 9 years they'd been there. To be trusted like that was somehow heartbreaking for me, and I felt terrible knowing they'd be alone in that hellhole of a workplace once I'd gone. I was walking away, leaving with their troubled face watching me rather forlornly... and I swung back round and opened my arms and they opened theirs and we stood holding each other in an embrace to end them all. The episode ended with me running off into the dusk for the car park, where I collapsed into my yellow car and began simultaneously bawling and laughing hysterically. before driving home to Infinity On High. That night, I braided pink back into my hair and eventually fell into a restless sleep. I have no idea what happens next where that aspect of my life is concerned, so I expect I will have to tune in for the next season.

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Knowing I could use some cheering up, Sammi met up with me on Saturday and we had a really lovely friend date together. We decided to head to the Thai restaurant we'd enjoyed for my birthday celebrations in September, and settled ourselves down for a couple of hours of good food and great conversation. 

So, guess who didn't even realise it was International Lolita Day!? Sammi informed me and I couldn't believe I had managed to completely forget about it. I guess fate had other ideas, though, because I had felt very positive I wanted to wear lolita that day. It felt like "coming home", after having been away for a little while. Shame this picture turned out so blurry because I rather liked that casual coordinate!

I went for a tofu dish, which consisted of some really yummy noodles and stir fried veggies. I ended up swapping and sharing food with Sammi, who had inadvertently managed to order what was basically just a plate of pork, haha. We shared a bowl of coconut rice we'd found so delicious the previous time, and laughed at the fact we'd both made attempts at home to replicate it ourselves at home!

Sammi got me this Pusheen mug for Christmas! I couldn't help squeeing when I opened it up. It's so adorable, and is the perfect shape for cupping in your hands. I'm so excited to use it!

After sharing a warming pot of English tea, we headed off into town to have a look around the shops. We couldn't help spending some time in Paperchase, where I ummed and ahhed over buying myself a pink Christmas tree for my bedroom. In the end, I decided to leave it behind and have a think about it. We eventually ended up in TK Maxx. Sammi triumphed there and bought a gorgeous, festive duvet set. We noticed the huge mirrors in the shop and couldn't help stopping for a photo!

I really loved Sammi's outfit! It gave me something of a 90s vibe, and I love a denim mini skirt! A+

By this point, we were feeling a bit chilly and wanted to sit in a café. On our search for one that wasn't filled to the brim, we found ourselves face to face with bright lights and fairground rides. Reading had done it again and put on yet another big themed event! We immediately postponed our café plans and went to investigate!

Gosh, I love Christmastime. I love seeing those German food stalls that always seem to pop up, with their bright lights and festive colours and hunger-inducing smells.

We wandered around, hoping that there might be a Waltzer ride, which is a favourite of both of ours. There wasn't one, unfortunately, but we still enjoyed having a look around. We discovered bumper cars with penguin covers on them, and a proper little ice rink! 

There was so much light at this event that even though the sky was pitch black we still managed to have really good selfie lighting! I enjoy our matching cat eye glasses, and my pink hair here!

Finally, after having definitely seen all there was to see, we made our way to Caffé Nero, and decided to order something off the festive menu. We both went for the salted caramel option. Sammi bought the latte and I got the hot chocolate.

The whipped cream was heavenly, and I felt so cosy and content!

We remained chatting for a few hours, about everything and nothing and back to everything again, before finally parting ways at the train station. 

It's pretty safe to say I had one of the best days I'd had in a long time, and it served as the perfect end to what had been a really tumultuous week, plus served as a way of moving on from what had been a really bad month prior. I think all this life re-evaluation has been really good for me, and I feel so much more positive and energised! 

So, some potential topics for our comment discussion! Have you ever had any really bad workplace experiences that caused unnecessary amounts of drama? Did you celebrate International Lolita Day? What sorts of things do you get up to during the festive season? I'd love to hear all about it!

Thank you so much for reading, and see you guys next time for even more yuletide cheer! ❤

Who Am I? Catch my train of thought and let's find out 🚂

November pretty much always ends up being a terrible month for me (maybe short-ass, dark-filled days are too much of a shock to the system!?) and when I end up doing a bit too much thinking. But that's me all over, really.

Anyway.

My relationship with lolita has changed a lot this year, and definitely for the better.

I used to use it to define me in a big way, and the reason behind that stems from a very negative adolescence. I found lolita fashion in my teenage years, and clung to it with both hands and made it the centre of my world-- an escape of sorts. As I got a little older, it became my main means of socialising and connecting with other people. I used it as a confidence boost and a way to block out the negativity of the world. But I'm in a very different period of my life now.

In a YouTube video at some point earlier on in the year, I discussed my observations on the current lolita climate, and how I felt disconnected from the community at large, which no longer felt like the cosy subculture of my teenage years. Since coming to a place of closure with all of that, things have changed for me. I began to see that there were so many other aspects of myself worth expressing, and that although lolita had been an important part of my life during some very formative years, it no longer needed to be my raison d'être. I stopped telling myself I was somehow "cheating" on lolita by spending time wearing other fashions, and re-connecting with my own personal sense of style. I re-evaluated friendships I held and asked myself just how deep they ran. If I were to leave lolita fashion tomorrow, who would still stick around? What would we have left in common? Who actually knows what I'm about? Who's even interested? I don't plan to leave lolita any time soon but it got me thinking about the level of superficiality in a lot of my interactions, and I realised I couldn't continue using the same social-, or by extension, life-model I had been sticking to for so many years. I realised I needed some more depth in my life.

A recent lounging around at home "coordinate".  It was nice to wear Princess Wardrobe after not having worn lolita at all for ages due to work, and general blah feels. Sorry I have no nice hi-res pictures to hand!

I was always drawn to old school Harajuku Bridge street snaps of the early noughties. The coordinates were often messy, with a ton of character and personality. The un-polished look speaks to me, and is so expressive of what I want in a fashion, of how I want to feel in a fashion. I want to feel like I can be myself unapologetically, with lolita merely being an ice breaker rather than a pre-requisite for someone to socialise with me. I lost my way a bit, without even realising. I go through these little periods of introspection every year, and they are so necessary. Sometimes, you need to check in with yourself and be completely honest about how you're doing and where you're at these days. Personally, I think I'm at a stage where I feel a sense of stagnation and the need to shake things up a bit. 

Moving forwards, I want to bring so much more to the table. As well as making sure my love for lolita remains healthy and intact by making sure my relationship with it remains wholesome, I want to talk more about the range of interests I hold, instead of limiting myself to a box that's becoming ever constricting as my life changes and progresses. I started this blog with no intention of it being a lolita-focused one, and if I'm honest with myself, I think it ended up going in that direction because it seemed like the easiest thing to do at times. I got into a habit of trying not to include too many things that don't have a direct connection to lolita. It's easier to get comments and discussion going on lolita-specific posts than the other interests I've discussed in the past. But why should I worry about numbers? I write because I enjoy it, not because I have any plans to become a professional blogger!  I ought to be a little less self conscious and just go with the flow!

There's things I need to write because... I need to write them. The desire is there, and I know I will feel better for having put my thoughts out there.

I have so many ideas and interests and there are a multitude of facets to my personality that I'm really excited to share. I hope you will stay with me for the journey. It's December and yet I feel a real sense of new beginnings. Well, nobody can say that 2016 was a year that stuck to the rules!

Me on an average chilly, makeup-less, squinty Saturday at home. I had just washed my car in the freezing cold at this point, Could barely feel my fingers, but it was therapeutic. 

Maybe I ought to re-introduce myself for a start. My name is Shalisa. I'm twenty-three years old. I have a degree in English Literature, and dream of being self sufficient via owning my own business. I run an online shop in my spare time, and have thus far posted out frilly undies and whimsical accessories to people in several different countries, had a collection of my designs for sale in a boutique, and had my first taste of convention seller chaos this past summer. I am so hungry for more of that indie brand life! I adore photography, and can often be found taking pictures of trees throughout the autumn. I am a witch, and regularly do rituals, cast spells, do tarot readings, and research on different spiritual paths as it keeps me feeling positive and grounded. My music faves include Fall Out Boy, Foxy Shazam, and The Darkness (who I plan on seeing live soon!) as well as a whole host of other rock, pop, punk and alternative shite. I adore alternative fashion, and sweet lolita is my main squeeze. My bit on the side consists of colourful vintage knitwear and clashing patterns galore. I'm an over-thinker with a passion for writing and a never-ending desire to be the best me that I possibly can. It's really nice to meet you. I hope this isn't a quarter life crisis!

To end, I'd love to hear from you: Do you ever go through these self analytical phases where you question your relationship with your hobbies/various aspects of your life? Have you ever taken a break from lolita/your hobby? Did it fix the problem?

Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time (which will be soon! I will be bringing the festive cheer so get ready!) Take care until then, my lovely readers ❤

🍂 Autumn Updates and Joining the Cute Car Club! 🚗

Goodness, it's been a while. This past month or so brought with it unexpected challenges and events that threw my posting schedule out of whack. As per. 

I started a new job last month and honestly, work has been super draining for me. Not in an "I'm so busy all day and absolutely shattered by the time I get home!" sort of way. More of a "Work is so menial and bland and boring that I arrive home frustrated by lack of mental stimulation" kind of situation. 

I think the main problem is that I love learning too much. I have always been thirsty for gaining more knowledge, for self improvement, for continually expanding my horizons, for feeling like I've achieved something each day. I love helping people and I love creating positive change, even if only in a small way. I love being around intelligent, interesting people who push me to better myself and whose conversations inspire me. I have the complete opposite. As it is, I can more or less do my entire day's work in maybe 2 or 3 hours, and the rest of the time, it's tough going trying to stretch this out. I don't want to look back on my twenties and realise I did absolutely nothing of value with them because I spent them in some dead end job where day in and day out I listen to people who make casual racist, sexist, and homophobic comments, and whose worldviews are entirely built upon the tiny bubble they've never felt the need to venture beyond. So naturally, I'm constantly searching for new opportunities that will get me out of the wildly unsatisfying position I'm currently in.

There are positives to my current situation, though, like the financial stability I couldn't make happen quickly enough via my indie brand, and the experience I can now add to my CV. In addition, someone on my team really came through for me and on their own time fixed my laptop, which I'd spent the last week without because a Windows 10 update pushed it over the edge. It is sheer bliss to be able to get some writing done, and I wouldn't have been able to have that sorted out so quickly had I not made the connections I have here already. Gotta focus on that silver lining!

As expected, I am really enjoying autumn. One thing I have to say about my workplace is that it's set on the most beautiful campus, where so many trees are turning shades of yellow, gold, and scarlet red.

Autumn is the season when I feel most alive, and at my most witchy. I always find myself re-reading  or ordering books on witchcraft, planning Sabbat celebrations, and watching pagan YouTubers around this time of year because out of nowhere, I feel very spiritual again. When those gentle breezes blow their way through the colourful leaves on the trees, with the sunlight jangling down towards me, it always feels as though nature is whispering something comforting and beautiful, and I can't help but turn my face upwards and listen.

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A really exciting change I've wanted to share for a while is that on the 1st of October, one of those big life events happened for me and I got my very first car!

My next door neighbour is an elderly lady who holds what I believe is a bridge night at her house with her pals every Tuesday. On one of these Tuesday evenings, an adorable mint green car turned up outside her house, ready for the bridge club to commence. I found out that this car was in fact a Fiat 500. I've never been much of a car person, aside from being an avid player of Test Drive 5 in my childhood (my car of choice was always a purple Plymouth Hemi Cuda) but this car in particular spoke to me as soon as I saw it. Somehow, there was something so lolita about it!

With the help of my dad, I managed to track down a 500 not too far a drive away from us, in really good condition, at a decent price, and low mileage. We set off super early that rainy Saturday morning and when we got to the car dealership, I was surprised by the fact the car was a warmer colour than it looked in the photos. But as soon as I sat in the car I knew it was the one.

And here it is. Mustard yellow and absolutely fantastic.

I may or may not have worn a yellow outfit in case the car at the dealership turned out to be a keeper. I'm glad I did!

Can we talk about how cute the trim of this car is!? I adore the cream steering wheel and yellow dashboard!

My first two weeks of being a proper driver weren't the best, I must admit. I suffered from the worst sort of car anxiety, that had me unable to eat breakfast in the mornings, and breathing heavily the entire time I was behind the wheel on my commute to and from work. On one particularly stressful morning I ended up having a panic attack and had to get the bus instead because I simply couldn't face being on the road. And then... something happened. I realised that so much of the pressure I was putting on myself was hardly about driving itself, but about the place I was going to-- my dreaded work environment. I got behind that wheel again after a few days break and I was ok. I took off my P plates/new driver magnets and drove with an unexpected feeling of calm. Since then, I've gotten to a stage where I actually quite enjoy my drive to and from work! The next challenges I want to set myself include some mini road trips, and eventually I'm going to conquer motorway driving!

I can't help feeling really proud of how far I've come in all this. This time last year I was absolutely convinced I would never pass my driving test, and that I just wasn't cut out for this whole driving thing. Now I feel this great sense of freedom, and every time my skills improve or I manage to do something I wasn't capable of before, I get so excited about it! I'm so happy to have what is essentially my dream car, and in a colour that is very odd and somehow very me!

Are any of you into cars? Do you drive? Do you think the Fiat 500 is as amazing as I do!? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time, hopefully without such a long break in between posts again! ❤

Cake Crafting at a Café 🍓

I think we all have those days where we want nothing more than to get out of the house and escape the stresses of the working week. That's how I felt last Saturday. I woke up to a grey, miserable-looking day, and the sense that, despite the bleak outlook, I really needed to socialise. I mentioned in my previous post that I had a job interview on my birthday. I was most successful, and started at the job on the following Monday. Disappointingly, the days there were nothing like what I'd been led to believe and I couldn't help feeling rather glum after that first tedious, mind-numbing week. I'm one of those people who enjoys being busy and having a sense of, I don't know, purpose each day, and this new role I'm in really doesn't provide that. As far as stop-gaps go, it could be much worse, but regardless, I am already on the lookout for something more fulfilling where my skills aren't going to waste.

On a whim, I decided to go to a meet with the Otome Sewing Bee, a dressmaking and crafting J-fashion meetup group in London. The workshop for the day was felt cake crafting. I quickly grabbed a few of the felt pieces I had in my fabric stash and a couple pairs of scissors on top of my regular day-out necessities, and set off for Putney. 

I somehow managed to get lost while trying to find the Putney Pantry, the café where the meet was to take place, even though I was using Google Maps. The GPS arrow didn't quite seem to know which direction I was facing which threw me off a bit, and caused me to ignore my instincts and wind up down a slightly creepy alleyway. The accidental scenic route was not unwelcome in the end as I enjoyed my little riverside walk. 

Next, I ended up walking right past the café before doubling back on myself and seeing that it was set a little way back from the road. Through the panes of glass at the front I could see someone in an elegant, classic dress and I knew I'd come to the right place. 

Jessica, the organiser of the comm, soon set me up with some patterns and worksheets, and I was amazed by the spread of materials and supplies she'd prepared for everyone. It's been a while since I learnt any new crafts, and I was pretty excited to try out this one.

One of the pictures Jessica took (I took very few myself, which is most uncharacteristic, but I was rather engrossed in what I was doing! I have to make do with editing the colours of this lovely candid instead). I think this might have been a few seconds before my headdress fell off. I do love a rectangle headdress but if you don't keep an eye on them, they like to make escape attempts! As you can see, we had a huge selection of materials to work with, including a rainbow of embroidery threads.

As well as being a pleasant environment for crafting in J-fashion, with lots of super friendly customers asking polite questions and seeming very interested in what we were about, the Putney Pantry also had great food. My order was simple: a cup of loose leaf Earl Grey, and a fruit scone... but my goodness, it was delicious. It was without question the best scone I've ever eaten-- melt-in-your-mouth good! The accompanying clotted cream and jam were absolutely perfect. I spent much of the workshop savouring it!

The meet was only for three hours, and it wasn't until the final one that I realised I'd not really achieved much in the way of anything. At this point I picked up a needle and thread and began frantically trying to stitch together the felt pieces to cover the cylindrical foam I was using as the base of my cake. I tried to mimic the look of the model cake Jessica had made prior to the meet, and didn't seem to be quite getting the same effect when I came to making some felt frosting for the top. Somehow, though, I managed to turn things around and end up with something I actually rather liked!

Here's my cake! I went for a chocolate and strawberry theme. I can't help thinking these would be lovely as Christmas tree decorations, and would like to make some more in festive colours for this very purpose!

After seemingly no time at all, it was after 5 o'clock and the meet was drawing to a close. Before leaving, though, I made sure to get a picture with Reina, who ended up wearing an outfit that coordinated very well with mine!

It was so lovely to have a catch up with her, as we do not meet up very often and mainly find ourselves chatting in passing at large events. Interestingly enough, Reina was the first lolita I ever spoke to in person, back in 2011, which is so surreal to think of! 

Overall, I'm glad I took the initiative and went to a meet at the last minute. Perhaps I could use a bit more spontaneity in my life. I found the crafting to be quite therapeutic, and it was nice to have something specific to do in London. 

Have you done any crafting recently? Been to any nice cafés? I'd love to hear about it! Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time ❤

🌞 A Lifestyle Lolita's Guide to a Great Summer! 🌞

Hey everyone! I've been really enjoying the summer so far. Since surviving the heatwave while I was on holiday last year, I've taken a real liking to sunny days and warmer weather-- which is great, because it now means I'm able to enjoy something about every season, even if it's not my favourite one (that award goes to autumn every time).

One thing I do love about the summer is the sense of freedom and opportunity it brings. Rather than having to find things to do in your downtime that's focused on staying warm and cozy like in the winter, you can go out and do so many more things, without low temperatures or insufficient daylight being a restriction to getting the most out of the entire day.

Here's a list of fun summery ideas you can take part in while donning the frills! I have tried to include ideas to suit all kinds of personalities, and focused on activities that are free to do, or very affordable. Enjoy!

☀Arrange a picnic!

There is something so delightful about a nicely arranged picnic. Use cute picnic blankets, prepare an assortment of yummy treats, and carry all your picnic goods in a pretty woven basket. Set yourselves up in a nice shaded area, and you will be content and comfortable for hours of conversation. If you're organising a picnic for a community full of people who don't know one another too well, play simple icebreaker games and team games to get people talking and laughing together.

☀Invite friends over for a garden party!

What could be more fun than relaxing in the garden with assorted ice-cold fruit drinks, served up in pretty glasses or jars with straws. You could try out fun garden games, too, such as pin the bow on the lolita, Twister, bandminton, or something tabletop-focused, such as card games or board games. I would love to play Lolitopoly at some point! Prepare your own treats for your guests (or merely purchase some! It's not cheating, I promise!), and ask them to bring a dish of food to share, too. Burn a citronella candle to keep the flies away. Garden gatherings are a great idea if you wish to stay in your home environment, or perhaps need to for health reasons, but still want to make the most of summer and socialise with those closest to you.

☀Go for a walk!

There are so many places to explore. Perhaps you live close to a river, woodland area, or even the beach. Taking a gentle stroll in lolita is always fun (weather permitting!) Explore any national parks or notable countryside locations you may have access to. Perhaps you're in a very urban city environment, in which case, you can still pass a pleasant hour wandering about the high street or shopping mall. Our local landscape may not always be picturesque, but we can still take a sense of wonder with us wherever we go. And besides, remember those old school street snaps of lolitas on Harajuku bridge? There's really nothing more lifestyle lolita than loitering in the middle of your city in a frilly dress! It's a street fashion after all!

☀Visit a local flower show or botanic garden!

There are some truly gorgeous flowers in bloom in the summer months, and they make a glorious backdrop to a relaxing day out, as well as lolita outfit pictures! They may even provide some inspiration for flowers you might want to grow yourself, or you may discover your new favourite flower. You could try putting together a themed coordinate, either going for one of your favourite floral pieces, or trying out a country lolita look, complete with a gingham dress or boater hat. These environments are wonderful for artistic photo-taking and letting your imagination run wild (truly, these places do seem as though they house all manner of fairies and magickal creatures). Here's a post I made the last time I visited a botanic garden, where I took some of the photographs I'm most proud of.

☀Go to local funfairs, craft markets and events!
Fairgrounds truly evoke memories of carefree, idyllic summer days. Put on one of your less dear coordinates (perhaps cheap secondhand brand or Bodyline) and have fun on different rides. I've always favoured bumper cars and the Waltzer! If you're not into rides, there's still usually so much to see and do, whether it be the hall of mirrors, or one of the many stalls where you can try to win a novelty item. Try to get fun, pretty snapshots in front of the carousel, and indulge in all manner of fairgound treats like candy floss and toffee apples! Check out any local craft fairs, which are fun to browse on pleasant sunny days. Find out more about the kinds of events that are held locally, and see if any of them interest you. Who knows what you might find, and end up taking part in?

☀Too hot outdoors in your climate? Stay in and get creative!
Throw on your most lightweight jumperskirt, and watch lighthearted summer-themed films or YouTube videos, while doing activities such as crafting or flower pressing. For something a bit more involved and food-related, don a frilly apron and and get some ingredients out! Eat refreshing, home-prepared salads with an array of colourful vegetables arranged in aesthetically pleasing ways (looking up Japanese bento images and recipes are very inspiring where this is concerned). You could have a go at mixing colourful cocktails or mocktails, or try your hand at preparing fruity desserts! Try out berry cheesecake recipes, or have a go at making your own ice-lollies or ice-cream! The possibilities are endless, and these are all fun things to do either alone, or with company.

☀Catch up on some reading!

Now is the perfect time to lounge around with a book. Head to your local library and take your time browsing the shelves. Check out your favourite bookshops and see if anything new catches your eye. Head to secondhand shops or charity shops and see if there are any bargains or unexpected rarities to be had. Treat yourself to a lifestyle magazine to flip through at your leisure, be it a Gothic and Lolita Bible (the series of English language ones are my absolute favourite), something cooking-themed, sewing-related, gardening-focused, or pop-culture influenced... whatever it is you're into! Have some books sat around that you never got a chance to read? Make it your goal to read at least one of them this summer! Read in a hammock, a reclining garden chair, on the train, at a café, or simply in your living space with a fan blaring, and unobtrusive music of your choice playing for atmosphere and background noise if you need it.

I hope you liked these ideas! I would love for you to leave any more suggestions you might have in the comments! What activities do you like to do when warm weather comes?

Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you next time ❤

My First Convention Vendor Experience!

Last weekend was Hyper Japan Festival 2016. The months leading up to it were filled with anxiety, nerves and often stress as I tried to get myself organised in time for the big weekend. 

Things kicked off on Thursday 14th July. That morning I got up early, double checked to make sure I had everything I needed and set off in a taxi to the train station. I traveled into London where my partner met me to help me with my luggage, and we then went to our Airbnb. The flat we picked was cozy enough, though the mattress was very hard and not the most comfortable thing in the world to sleep on, plus the bathtub was incredibly grimy. I scrubbed it with bathroom cleaner I found, but this wasn't very effective. The limescale and general dirt was so caked on it would have needed a really heavy duty cleaning agent and a tough scouring pad. We just had to suck it up and remind ourselves that the accommodation was so much cheaper and more conveniently located than most of what we'd seen beforehand.

We then had a very long walk to the Olympia, the venue for the convention, punctuated by Google Maps consultations, and awkward heavy suitcase handling. It was the beginning of a heatwave, so we were sweaty and already pretty exhausted by the time we arrived to set up my stall, which was located up on the gallery level overlooking the main floor space. It took us around two hours to get everything together. Our walk back to the flat was a very painful one as we were both pretty dead on our feet at this point. We also had to pick up groceries so we would have food and drink sorted out for us for that evening and the following day. We didn't get the greatest of sleeps that night, but were more or less ready to go in the morning for Hyper Japan Day One.

My coordinates for the weekend were pretty casual, seeing as I had really limited packing space, and because I knew I would be spending long hours at the convention. Pup in a Cup served as a nice comfy dress for day one.

 A general overview of my table. There's hair bows, earrings, and canotiers. I ended up having to stick a "please take one" sign on the business cards because people were so hesitant otherwise, some even asking "is it OK if I have one?" Yes it is. It's kind of the point. Bless.

I was really happy with the way my beret display turned out! Leading up to the event I really struggled to come up with a way to show them off effectively but this set up seemed to work well. 

That first day did not go well. Sales were absolutely dismal, and I noticed a lot of vendors packing up early and leaving before closing time because of how poorly the day had gone for them. It was pretty hard to keep the morale going when the stall next to me was run by convention veterans who were always mobbed with customers oohing and aahing over their wares before dropping the cash. Watching them at work was basically a masterclass in vending. I can only hope I reach their level one day because it was impressive to witness. In the meantime, we were dealing with all manner of bizarre people who didn't buy anything, one of whom stormed away from my stall saying "WELL THAT'S NOT GOTHIC!!!" Um. I wasn't aware I was trying to be, or that Hyper Japan was a goth event but OK.

So, we headed back to our Airbnb feeling thoroughly depressed, and wanting nothing more than to wolf down one of the supermarket ready meals we'd gotten, shower, and to go to bed. 

We woke up feeling pretty refreshed for day two. I kept saying things like "today will be better" and even "let's do this", because I was determined to have a good day. Saturday 16th July was the day for Hyper Japan's two session system, which essentially meant two days squeezed into one. As a result, we worked from 9am until 9pm. Somehow, it felt even longer than it sounds.

Me and my stall on day two! I went for an outfit consisting mainly of items I'd made myself, which included the hair bow on my head, the one I'm wearing as a bow tie, the skirt, and the bloomers which you can't see.

Saturday was a really social day, and lots of friends came to see me. I'm sad that I completely forgot to get pictures with them but oh well. Their interactions helped to make the time go faster, as did my chats with the owners of other stalls. Unfortunately, it was incredibly hot during the peak times of the event. 

The roof of the Olympia looks absolutely stunning of course, but it effectively turns the place into a greenhouse. It was also very noisy that day, and a lot of the performers were not my cup of tea at all, plus they made it very difficult for people to hear one another in conversation. One of the performer's music seemed to consist mainly of a depressing, overblown guitar solo that never seemed to end. At one point I went to stand at the balcony, overlooking the whole event, and things were far too atmospheric and miserable with the addition of that melancholia. I felt like I was in a really emotional drama.

My sales were a lot better than the day before, and I even got to use my PayPal card reader for the first time. One of my customers actually bought two pairs of bloomers, which made me insanely happy! We were absolutely exhausted by the the time the day was over, and although we'd done better than the previous day, we still hadn't sold enough to feel content about the weekend. Still, one more day to go, we told ourselves.

Sunday was a more reasonable day with regards to the heat, but it was still pretty bad. I like to be prepared for everything so I actually had a battery-powered fan with me, which a few people eyed up jealously. 

Sunday really was the day of dancing. Throughout the whole weekend, the Yokai Watch music was playing on a loop at the big booth on the ground floor. All day, every day. For the first couple of days, I managed to tune it out, but on the Sunday, I found myself bobbing up and down to it because at this point, I just didn't care. This was also the second day that Charisma.com performed, this DJ-ing, rapping duo I found that I really enjoyed. During a quiet period I went downstairs to watch some of their performance and did the dance routine (which consisted of making a big triangle over your head with your arms and moving it from one side to the other) by myself, completely ignoring the "wtf" looks I was getting from a few of the more dour spectators. Other people, though, were really getting into the performance and raving it up! The atmosphere was really good, and I think that it would have been a really enjoyable event for me as a general attendee as there was actually quite a lot to see and do.

One of the convention organisers was going around with a list, detailing all the food orders made by the vendors. The food was on at a discounted rate for us, so we decided to indulge in this super yummy chicken and rice dish whose name escapes me. It was very tasty, and although we shared it between us it kept us going for hours. It was the only food we bought at the event but from what we could see, the food looked amazing, though it was pretty pricey. From what I could see, a lot of people go to the event just to look at all the "culture" stuff before hitting up the food court. Understandable.

One thing I didn't expect was how much of a "normie" event it would be. Sure, there were a lot of stereotypical weebs, a handful of J-fash people, and a fair number of cosplayers. But there were also a lot of middle-aged mainstream people, wandering around to basically point and laugh at how "strange" everything was. This happened a lot with my own stall, and I had a lot of 50-somethings cracking up over my bloomers for no apparent reason. They were so rude even though I was literally stood or sat right in front of them. I didn't let it get me down, though-- in literally any sales environment you have to deal with a few prats, and this was tame compared to some of the nonsense I experienced working in a high street store. Still, it made me wonder why they would have wanted to come to such an event in the first place. 

Sunday finally drew to a close. It was a day of chump change from people making very small purchases, but at least it wasn't as dire as day one. 

One of my neighbours for the weekend was Emily, who is the designer of Shinkurose! She was a pleasure to talk to over the weekend, and gave me lots of helpful tips and advice about the world of selling at conventions. I hope I'll see her at more events in the future!

The above picture is something of a rare sight as I literally never wear berets! My partner has insisted that they suit me but I'm really not so sure... I might wear them anyway because I think they are adorable (obviously, seeing as I make so many of them!) and it would be a shame to not partake in the cuteness because of a slight insecurity. On this day I went for a Baby tartan scallop dress-- super comfortable, old school, and flattering. I definitely need more of them!

To say that things went off without a hitch would be a lie. I didn't make a profit or even pay off the expensive table cost. But I did learn a hell of a lot about exhibiting at a convention, and I am hoping the knowledge gained will help me a lot in future. The general experience of Hyper Japan was actually very positive. I enjoyed my time there. I met a lot of really great people I wouldn't have otherwise, and really forced myself out of my comfort zone, which is something I absolutely needed. I've ended up with an urge to keep doing more!

So, that was my Hyper Japan Festival 2016 experience!
Do you like going to conventions? Have you ever sold or known someone who sold items at them before? How did it go for you or them? I'd love to hear about it!

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time ❤

Convention Prep & the Highs and Lows of International Lolita Day

I've not been feeling very inspired to write lately because I've not been in a great place mentally.

I've had that whole "numb" feeling going on for longer than I'd like. I sat and wrote and edited an entire post and never posted it because my heart just wasn't in it. I figured it would be better to leave a long gap in between posts, rather than to use some filler content I didn't feel strongly about. I'm feeling a little more enthused today, though, so I'm taking the moment of inspiration that presented itself to me, and running away with it in case it disappears again!

So, what's been going on lately? Same old, I guess. I've been working a lot on crafting lately, in preparation for my upcoming convention, Hyper Japan. I've even gotten a couple of commissions lately which has been really nice. My days have been spent at my sewing machine working on bloomers (often with Melanie Martinez playing in the background. Yep. I'm such a lolita stereotype), hand stitching accessories, gluing on hair clips, buying supplies, planning my table display... it's been a bizarre rush of all these little details which will hopefully come together in time.

It's been nice to have something to focus on and be passionate about. Still, I sometimes feel a little unsure of myself, and a little directionless. By focusing on this convention, and by extension, my brand, I suppose I've taken something of a risk. I chose not to renew my old work contract, or to pursue a regular 9-5, because for whatever reason, I really just wanted to give this a go. The money I saved from my last job has gone directly into my business. Maybe this convention will go terribly, and I'll go back to job hunting as soon as I return from the convention. But maybe it'll go really well, and I'll want to continue selling at events and fulfilling online orders. I can't possibly know just yet. All I know is that I don't want to have that recurring "what if?" going round in my head in the future, because I chose not to try while I had the chance. I'm trying to block out the negativity from people around me who think I'm merely lazy-- as though working from home actually means sitting around doing nothing all day. You'd have thought the fact my tiny bedroom is bursting with newly made stock (I am seriously running out of space right now) would indicate I've been busy doing something.

Just a little over a month to go, before I set off for the London Olympia to seek my fortune. My destiny awaits...

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Saturday was pretty nice. I met up with my friends as usual. We decided to have a picnic to celebrate International Lolita Day. I went for a summery, retro-inspired coordinate based around my handmade cherry skirt. It was an overcast but really warm, and humid day. The weather is so deceptive in its looks.

It wasn't until after stocking up on supermarket foods that we discovered this huge food festival thing happening in the town centre. Luna and I took in the sight of sizzling food on a grill and let out wistful howls. We were so disappointed! 

Still, we managed to have a good time with our decidedly inferior stash, which included some rather chewy, gooey macarons. Aesthetically pleasing and appropriate for the photo-taking that occurred, but so painfully overpriced. The 50p pack of party rings turned out to be much more satisfying!

We accidentally settled ourselves down in what seemed to be a couple-zone that day. One young teenage couple was play-fighting constantly, having pretend arguments and running around after one another. Another couple looked like they were in their late thirties, and spent a few hours making out on a bench. The final couple looked like they were in their forties, and literally mounted one another a few times, giving one another massages and generally being really inappropriate considering it was a completely public park with children running around. We did our best to ignore them but it was tough going!

We ranted about life, had an impassioned conversation about a recent lolita scammer experience, and planned future outings. It was so good to catch up! I couldn't help feeling totally relaxed and content.

We finished our picnic by taking some photos together, as part of the gardens were in full bloom, and looked as though they'd be a nice backdrop. We were right!

Luna wore Lief's Gardenberries print. It's so detailed and intricate, and I love the elegant way she coordinated it.

 Sammi went for a cue and casual AP coordinate, which is definitely her specialty. I was so thrilled to see her wearing the wristcuffs I made her!

I always seem to be the only one without a hat!

Next, we headed off for drinks, where a friend of Luna and James, Will, eventually joined us for conversations that had us laughing for hours. We got on really well, and it seems I've met my match when it comes to over-sharing! Before we knew it, it was 9pm, and Sammi was due to start work at 4 in the morning (she is so hardcore). We made a hasty exit.

I went to bed fairly early that night (after crying for a while because I'd lost my front door keys), but woke up a few hours later, really nauseated and with stomach cramps. I had a fever, and my pyjamas were drenched in sweat. I spent the early hours of the morning alternating between clenching my hands and toes in bed in an attempt to deal with how awful I felt, and the bathroom. I seemed to have food poisoning. What a miserable end to what had been a lovely day. I couldn't help feeling utterly dejected. 

I checked in with my friends at a more social hour and they all seemed to be fine. They suggested it could be the alcohol I drank, as I've had weird reactions to certain drinks in the past (for example, I cannot drink cider as it causes my heart to feel like it's going to beat its way out of my chest). On this occasion, I did notice that my face felt uncomfortably hot while I drank my cocktails. I've done some reading online and apparently, alcohol can aggravate intolerance to food, plus you can be intolerant to alcohol itself. I suppose it could have been the combination of cocktails and "ready to eat" picnic foods from the supermarket that caused me to get so ill. Either way, I'm not going to risk it again, and am just going to go back to teetotal life because honestly, I don't enjoy drinking enough to bother trying to find some sort of workaround. #straightedge #sobriety #highonlife etc etc.

Thankfully, I've been feeling a lot better today, and am more or less back to eating normally now. I've been taking it easy, editing photos (which I find really therapeutic), and catching up with general social media stuff, plus blogging, of course. Maybe my next outing will pass without incident!

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As a bonus, here's a proper outfit picture, with me in all my squinty glory.

So, did you do anything for International Lolita Day? I'd love to hear about what you've been up to lately! Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time! ❤

Think Pink!

I suppose it probably goes without saying that pink is my favourite colour. I like to have things in pink, whether it's clothes, shoes, homewares, stationery etc. I was lying in bed this morning, still kind of recovering from the weekend and mulling over life when I couldn't help noticing how hilariously pink everything looked as the sun filtered its way through my pink curtains.

Honestly, I love waking up to this rose-tinted wonderland.

For some reason, it reminded me of a video I saw doing the rounds on Facebook earlier this year, about a so-called "green lady". I found it absolutely delightful and couldn't help but re-watch it.

Is this not the dream for us fashionistas when we reach old age? I can't imagine living my life obsessed solely with one colour, because I would find that rather limiting (and I really do enjoy wearing colours like black and red too much!) But there is something so appealing about creating your own vivid aesthetic in old age. I like that although so much of what she owns is green, she decorates her home with a very neutral, white colour-scheme which tones down the overall greenness of her possessions. I find it really adorable that she's known in her area for her outfits and hair colour. I've joked in the past about aspiring to be a ~crazy cat lady~, and I even have a wall decal with those very words on it. However, I think I would be the sort of cat lady who actually goes out and roams the neighbourhood with her cats in tow, wearing elaborate outfits, sporting ridiculous hair-dos, and striking up conversations with the presumably curious passers-by. As I make my way through life I find that I really value going out and about, having new adventures and being social, and I can see that this "green lady" is all about that, too. Pensioner goals.

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I have wanted pink hair for a number of years but never went ahead with it because I knew the bleaching process would fry my naturally black hair. After giving my hair and scalp a bit of a break for a couple of weeks, I finally got my braids re-done last and decided it would be the perfect way to trial pink hair, as it would cause no damage to my own hair, and would be easy to remove if necessary!

And here's the result! At first, I had a whole chunk of my hair done in pink, but decided it looked very unbalanced and a bit too OTT. After a bit of re-jigging, I ended up with pink braids scattered around on either side of my head, so that the colour would become visible through movement. As you can probably tell, I'm rather in love with it.

For a while, I was very much focused on having "lolita hair", hence my straight hime cut, with painstakingly tonged bangs. Nowadays, I'm a lot more relaxed about this sort of thing. I sometimes miss my fringe, but I'm having a lot of fun trying out new things, and challenging myself to make them work cohesively in lolita coordinates.

I like the fact that my hair now matches my pink x black coordinates really well. This is the casual outfit I wore for today's post office trip. The weather has been so gorgeous lately and I didn't even need a bolero!

The aim for this picture was less about being risqué and more about having a detail shot which illustrates how much I love these socks. They're not super long, and yet they never slip below my knee, which is exciting when you're used to OTKs ending up being UTKs on you. I also love that these lace-topped ones evoke a slightly old school feeling, a touch I always try to add somewhere in my outfits.

Now, do tell me, dear hearts: what's your favourite colour? Have you ever had/do you have an unnatural colour in your hair? What do you think of the "green lady"? Do you ever have silly daydreams about what you'll be like in old age!? I'd love to know! Thank you so much for reading as ever, and I'll see you next time! ❤

Lolita Fashion and Minimalist Lifestyle

Something that seems to be gaining a lot of traction in blogger and vlogger circles is minimalism-- that is, getting rid of anything that isn't essential to your day to day life in order to simplify it, thus encouraging you to live life more fully than you might if you're heavily focused on your possessions. As soon as I heard about this lifestyle I was very interested in it, and immediately began applying its principles to my life.

I have been watching a lot of extreme minimalist YouTubers lately, trying to decide how I feel about the lifestyle on that level. Honestly, while I am totally behind the idea of simplifying your life (last year it was a series of de-cluttering videos that inspired me to get rid of a load of junk, re-organise my clothing, and feel a lot better for it) I'm not overly impressed by a lot of what I've been seeing these days. Perhaps it's because I sense a certain undercurrent to their life philosophy that seems to say: "if you don't follow this lifestyle you are inherently less enlightened and probably don't lead a fulfilling life." Or maybe it's because it infringes on my lolita sensibilities. By their definition, the fact I own an array of clothes isn't very minimalist of me.

In my opinion, extreme "hipster" minimalism is just the cousin of materialism, only this time with a pseudo-intellectual mission statement. I have felt this more and more as I see videos dedicated to getting the number of items a person possesses down to a specific amount, like 50, and a constant showing off of how few things they own, and how easily they can be transported. Rather than sticking to what I assume the initial purpose of minimalism was, it's become entirely about numbers and one-upmanship for some people. Are they really much different to those who like to have a lot of possessions, who want to complete certain collections or aim to have x-amount of a particular item? I'm not so sure. Taking anything to an extreme level tends to be a bad idea.

Still, I think it's perhaps the excess of materialism that is the more immediate, dangerous cousin of the two, and lolita fashion is something that seems to drive a lot of people towards it whether I like to admit it or not. Discussions in lolita Facebook groups about shopping addictions, getting overdrafts to pay for dresses, and other financial irresponsibility with regards to acquiring new releases are worryingly common. I can't help thinking that some of these people would benefit from applying minimalism to their life.

Despite all this, I don't believe that lolita is completely at odds with minimalism if you go into it with the right mindset. Lolitas get a bad rap at times, and are often described as being materialistic or spoilt by outsiders. It probably doesn't help that some of the most popular lolita videos out there are unboxings, haul videos, and wardrobe tours; these are all very much focused on possessions and acquisition of said possessions, which can cause viewers to feel inadequate and thus view such content as something to aspire to. There are so many lolitas who are incredibly visible and popular online, presenting very attractive, luxurious lifestyles, which seem to have spawned a competitiveness, and a need to "keep up" with other lolitas that was never previously present to this extent.

Interestingly, though, lolitas are often very fluid when it comes to possessing clothing. The secondhand marketplace has always thrived, and many lolitas will sell off items after a mere season, so they can afford new releases from the next one. In this way, wardrobes don't become out of control, pieces get re-used by other lolitas rather than ending up in landfill, and a lolita's life isn't ruled by their possessions as they have no intense emotional connection to them. Some lolitas really do have huge collections, but they are often daily lolitas/lolitas who are able to wear the fashion very often. If all of your possessions have a purpose, aren't taking over your life, and aren't causing you financial instability, I don't think it's necessary to downsize for the sake of a minimal aesthetic, and I believe it's possible to be passionate about lolita without it leading to your eventual downfall.

There are lolitas like myself, for example, who rarely sell off their pieces, and don't really keep up with acquiring new releases, or adopting current trends. I have been building my lolita wardrobe for 6 years and it now fills up a free-standing wardrobe. It's not big. I am not a shopping addict, am pretty frugal when it comes to treating myself to physical items, and have always added to my wardrobe at a very slow pace. When I see something hung up that I'm not into anymore, or I haven't worn for a long time, I sell it. My pieces get a lot of love, and I wear them in heavy rotation. I own a fair amount of miscellaneous junk outside of my lolita collection, but I know that those things are replaceable (and I don't even think I want to replace most of it. I've got so much crap to get rid of, and am looking forward to the space it will free up afterwards, both physically and mentally) and therefore have no control over me. It's funny really-- I actually think getting into lolita helped me to conquer a hoarding mindset I used to have in other areas of my life, because my new focus became quality, rather than quantity. Maybe being a lolita minimalist isn't quite as far-fetched a concept as one might initially think! As with anything in life, it's what you bring to it that counts, and if what you bring to lolita is a healthy mindset towards your possessions, I don't see why it isn't possible to create a lifestyle complementary to both lolita and minimalism.

While I disagree with the increasingly popular, extreme version of minimalism presented in certain circles of YouTubers lately, I think the re-evaluation that minimalism encourages is something that should be a regular part of our lives, and can be really useful where a lolita wardrobe is concerned. As an exercise, I would suggest you take a look at your wardrobe. Is your spending getting out of control? What do you hope to gain by making your next purchase? Are there pieces you never wear? Are there items collecting dust that you keep for "sentimental value"? Do you feel overwhelmed when you think of your possessions? Sometimes we need to be a little drastic with ourselves, and make sure we are not hoarding things or making bad financial decisions just to fulfill what is really a mental or emotional void. Or, quite simply, it might just be time for a spring clean.

And what if you don't want to get rid of rarely worn items? Then wear them! Push yourself to come up with a new way of coordinating your pieces. Show them some love. There's nothing wrong with having a lot of things if they all have a purpose and bring happiness to your life. I haven't yet had a chance to read Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" (which I'm told is a good read if you're in an organisational rut), but I do know of the main KonMari principle: keep only the things which spark joy. That seems like a good motto to live by, in addition to all things in moderation.

Do you consider yourself a minimalist, or the complete opposite? I'd love to know about your relationship with your possessions, and how it informs your choices when it comes to your lolita wardrobe!

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time ❤