Japonica Market Review

I must rather shamefacedly admit that I had never bought anything using Japanese auctions before the experience I am about to tell you about. I used to psyche myself out whenever I read online explanations of using a shopping service, and just sort of gave up on the idea. And now? I've decided to stop being a wimp and limiting my options for secondhand lolita goods! 

After hunting fruitlessly on the western secondhand market, and also Japanese secondhand stores, I decided to trawl my way through Yahoo Auctions in an attempt to find the black bag my heart was aching for. A friend recommended Japonica Market to me for this very purpose in the past, so I decided they would be who I would try this time.

Ordering Process

On 30th January I decided to go for an Angelic Pretty bag that only had about 17 hours left on its auction. I wasn't sure how often Japonica checked their emails so I did what their website advised about auctions ending soon, and sent a deposit to them via PayPal. And then, I went to bed because it was coming up to 1 in the morning.

About an hour after I went to bed, I received an invoice for the PayPal fee for the deposit. I paid this, and then simply had to wait for Japonica to bid on the item for me.

I was emailed the following day from their agent, Tajima (who always emailed in such a timely, easy to understand manner, making the process very simple for me!) about the fact I had won the bag. I then waited for the bag to reach their warehouse. This happened on February 6th, and they emailed me asking for the go-ahead to pack up the item to be shipped out to me. I said this was fine, and they responded the next day (the 7th) telling me they could take a few days to do this due to a backlog of orders they needed to work through. Immediately after this email, however, I received my final invoice, which I paid the same day. Later on, I got an email telling me the package would be shipped out the following Monday as this was a Saturday.

Shipping

So, on Monday 9th February I received a final email from Japonica telling me my package had been shipped out, along with a tracking number to use.

The package made it into England on the 12th and then... the tracking information remained the same for 5 days. What on earth were they doing with it?! 

On the 17th it finally started the journey to my local postal depot, was retained on the 18th (which of course meant a nice big import VAT charge looming as I completely forgot about trying to bypass the fees by asking for the package to be marked down. SO annoyed at myself!) and on Friday 20th, I was given the fee slip. 

On Monday 23rd February, I finally had my package! By the time it came I had half forgotten about it and it meant I was super excited to open it!

Packaging

My bag was sent out in a sturdy box.

After slicing it open, I was greeted with this.

The bag was carefully wrapped in bubble wrap, and had no space to move around in the box. The bottom of the box was also carefully padded with bubble wrap.

The bag out of the box. Here you can see how they secured the bag straps. The bag itself was stuffed with huge wads of tissue paper to help it retain its shape.

My beautiful bag! It's Angelic Pretty's Jewel Ribbon Boston Bag (2011 release I believe.)

Summary

Apart from the minor hiccup about ending up shelling out an extra £22+ because I didn't mark the package down, I would say this was an overwhelmingly positive shopping experience! Tajima was a pleasure to work with due to their fast emailing, and easy to understand breakdown about how far along in the ordering process I was. The packaging of my item was great, and I really liked that you get asked beforehand about whether or not you are happy to go ahead and have the item sent to you yet. Japonica's fees were incredibly reasonable given how attentive their service is, and I would happily recommend them to anyone. Thanks, Japonica Market!

I hope you found this review helpful! If you have any questions about my order, then please feel free to ask! See you next time ❤ 

Maiden Clothing Review

Recently I made an order with Maiden Clothing, a place where you can buy secondhand lolita clothing, very much in the same vein as Closet Child. 

As I was browsing the jumperskirts, one dress in particular caught my eye-- Baby's The World's Most Adorable Dog and the World'd Most Delicious Frappe print! I particularly liked the lace details and seeing as the price was really good, I decided to purchase it.

Ordering Process

To buy from Maiden Clothing without a shopping service, you must use the international order form, the process of which is explained in a clear, and helpful fashion on their website. On 7th January, I sent them a filled out the order form. 

After this, I waited for them to get back to me in order to confirm whether or not I had been successful in bagging the item. I received a response on 9th January, stating that I must pay through the payment processor NICOS, and that I have a week to do so. They responded under the handle "Pure Sound", which I believe is their parent company.

Several hours later I received an e-mail with a link to the NICOS platform where I used my card to pay for my dress, the shipping (for me it was 1800 yen, which I thought was incredibly reasonable) and a credit charge of 200 yen.

One thing to bear in mind is that your card company may charge you a small fee for paying in a different currency. I got a £2.50 transaction fee and a £1 purchase fee. Swell.

Shipping

On 10th January I received an e-mail saying my payment had been accepted and processed, plus I was given a tracking number.

The dress made it into my possession on 20th January, although it made it into the UK several days beforehand and I had to wait for customs to clear it, plus wait for my payment of the import VAT to go through.

Packaging

The package was made of really strong, thick paper/thin card, and whilst battered a bit, arrived very much intact.

To open the package I simply had to manually tear along a perforated strip. I found this very handy as I hate struggling to get into tough boxes. This also meant there was no chance of me inadvertently damaging the dress with scissors.

The dress was folded and securely sealed in a resealable plastic bag. There was no receipt, notes, or any sort of branding from Maiden Clothing. Straight to the point packaging, indeed!

Product

My dress was described as being in 3/5 condition, and that I should expect some signs of wear and tear. I carefully inspected the dress multiple times and was unable to find anything wrong with it at all! It arrived smelling of fresh drycleaning and appeared to me to be in mint condition!

I love this jumperskirt! I simply cannot stop touching the gorgeous lace! It is so thick and soft! I am very pleased to own this dress due to the fact it suits my often "bittersweet" sensibilities, plus the contrast of black with white lace creates a very old school vibe which I love.

Summary

I found ordering from Maiden Clothing to be a straightforward and positive experience. They are quick to respond to e-mail orders, post your order out very fast, and their packaging is great, if rather impersonal. I had no problems whatsoever with the item I received, which was in much better condition than described on their site. I would definitely order from them again!

I hope you found this review helpful! If you have any questions then please feel free to leave a comment! See you next time ❤ 

24/7 Lolita: Reality or Fantasy?

Sometime recently, someone began a thread on a facebook lolita discussion group about whether or not there was anyone who wore lolita fashion round the clock. Some people claimed they did, but mainly, people were very disbelieving that it was something anyone could do, or would want to do. 

Ribbon Rose Room Wear by Victorian Maiden. How lovely is this!?

I wouldn't be opposed to the idea myself. On my down days, I often feel as though lounging around the house in bland, sagging clothes can make me feel even more miserable than I would if I had something bright and cute to cheer myself up with. For such occasions, it is possible to find really adorable items (usually labelled as "roomwear" online) which are both comfortable and stylish. Perhaps that's something I should look into.

However, self proclaimed lifestyle lolita or not, there are always going to be occasions where you can't wear lolita. When I do land a job (which will most likely be office based), I will have to wear clothing which is "professional". Some people are lucky enough to work in environments where they can wear elegant classic pieces, or incorporate lolita items into their work outfits to create a look that is professional, and yet unmistakeably lolita-influenced. Some people even wear full lolita to their work place! I may not be that lucky, but it's fine-- more money, more brand at the end of the day! You work to earn a living, not to look cute (though if you can do both, you really are living the dream!) I expect 24/7 lolita would be easier for those who are unemployed, students, housewives or in a workplace with aforementioned lax uniform policies.

If we ignore the trouble that workplaces can cause in terms of disrupting this 24/7 lolita vision, then let's think about this in terms of only wearing lolita in one's free time.

Rabbit Apron by Baby, The Stars Shine Bright

In a separate thread, someone else claimed they did absolutely every one of their pass times in lolita, including cycling! I've sometimes thought about making or buying a cute apron I could wear over my lolita clothing for eating anything particularly messy, or when cooking. But somehow, there are still times when I don't even feel like putting on a dress. Do I really need to wear something that may get caught in the food, catch on something, get super messy, make me sweat more than something else etc for the sake of calling myself a 24/7 lolita? At those times, it wouldn't be worth it for me, and I would instead make workarounds. Something about spending the day, for example, in a cute cutsew and bloomers is appealing to me! In this way I would still be wearing something related to lolita, without it being impractical and uncomfortable.

3 Piece Night Set (2003) by Baby, The Stars Shine Bright. 

I must make myself something like this!

So, do I think 24/7 lolita is possible? Definitely. Is it something I can claim to take part in right now? Definitely not! Still, I figured it would be fun to come up with some ideas for a 24/7 lolita lifestyle, aimed at those who want to wear lolita or lolita inspired clothing in casual environments such as at home.

• Get yourself some cute, comfortable roomwear! This is great for when you won't be leaving the house, and still want to feel dolled up!
• Pretty nightgowns will make bedtime feel more whimsical! Sweeter lolitas may favour pastel colours and kawaii prints, whereas classic and gothic lolitas may feel more inspired by Victorian inspired gowns.
• Have some cheaper items set aside for messier, less elegant days! Now is the time to lounge around in bargain brand items and old Bodyline pieces.
• Bloomers make great pyjama shorts, and are perfect for days at home! You could get a longer pair for going outside and gardening if that's something you're into.
• Think about dress cuts. Skirts sitting on your waist all day may not allow you to feel relaxed, so opt for jumperskirts with high waisted cuts so there's no pressure on your stomach.
• Wear cute, lace topped or patterned ankle socks as opposed to plain ones!
• Have a pair of slippers which suit your lolita style and will complete your "home" coordinate!

How do you feel about the idea of 24/7 lolitas? I'd love to hear what you think about it! Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time! ❤ 

Lolita Goals for 2015

I'm a bit late to the party with New Year related posts but here I am at last!

I thought I would go through both my personal hopes and wishes for lolita fashion this year. Let's start!

Metamorphose, 2002.

Get more old school items into my wardrobe.

Sweet lolita remains my favourite substyle, and the style that is the mainstay of my wardrobe. However, I find that I can't quite get to grips with the newer releases, in particular those of Angelic Pretty, which I feel has gone in a whole new direction aesthetics-wise. I prefer my oufits to maintain a feeling of simplicity; I find that even my most fancy coordinates never manage to be ott in any sense of the word! Thus, I've been looking at older releases, non print items, and old school accessories for inspiration for the direction I want to take my style.

Branch out with footwear.

Currently, I just seem to wear those Bodyline tea party style shoes for lolita, but I know there's a lot more out there I could try. It would be nice to vary things up a bit, rather than relying on the same style of shoe over and over again. I am interested in trying rocking horse shoes, but comfort will definitely come first in whatever new shoes I can find this year. I want them to be cute and loliable, but also practical for a whole day out and about somewhere.

Baby's ever-popular heart bag.

Buy a plain black bag!

Somehow I don't have a simple, completely plain black bag to match my lolita coordinates. I own two black bags, both with differing cream designs that can be very hard to coordinate with a lot of my wardrobe and probably weren't the best investment in the long run. I need a plain black bag! I always search but still haven't found one that is a good price and suits my style. I hope to find it this year!

Stop forgetting the wardrobe staples!

I could do with fleshing out my blouse and bolero collection. I am especially low on pink items, due to the fact I've gotten into a lazy habit of coordinating everything with black! I need to stop using dark colours as a crutch and make sure I can coordinate my main pieces in lots of different ways.

Photo by kleinertod

Visit Baby, The Stars Shine Bright in Paris!

I don't know if this is one I'll be able to pull off but I have been meaning to go to Paris for such a long time! I really want to visit Baby. I've never been to a brand shop before, and I feel as though it's a pilgrimage I need to make. I would be silly not to make the most of the closest lolita shop to me!

Make my own "main pieces" of lolita clothing.

During the two and a bit years I was doing my degree I didn't have nearly as much time as I would have liked to get any sewing done. In 2014 I was able to slowly progress from basic small accessories to bloomers. Next, I want to move to skirts and dresses, and make some of the old school pieces I am desperate to get into my wardrobe!

Have a stall at a lolita event.

This is an important one for me. I am passionate about my business and I am hoping that with hard work and determination, I will finally be able to sell my wares at a lolita event. Fingers crossed I can make this dream a reality! *runs off to do more sewing practice*

Did you make any lolita goals or resolutions for 2015? I'd love to hear about them! See you next time ❤ 

Lolita Level Up Revisited!

Recently while browsing my blog list I saw that Miuko over at Puppenschloss had completed the Lolita Level Up meme! I remember when everyone used to post about this, and I actually managed to find it saved on my hard drive, dated 21st June 2010! I had only just started to wear the fashion then (or whatever I seemed to think the fashion was haha!) and my level was "Resplendent Rufflebutt"! Let's see how far I've come since then! All the things that apply to me are in bold.

LOLITA LEVEL START!

You've been to egl.

You've posted on egl, without an onslaught of 'USE THE MEMORIES' and likewise.
You've bought a lolita mook.
You've picked a favorite brand.
You've ordered your first item.
You've worn a full outfit.
You've worn a full outfit out in public.
You've worn a full outfit and posted photos of it on the Internet.
You know what JSK, OP, and cutsew all mean.
You've bought your first brand piece.
You know your measurements.
You know your shoe size - in American, European, and Japanese.
You know who Mr. Yan is.
You know who Mana is. (+1 points if you know his band. +2 points if you know his brand. +3 points if you know why he's featured in every GLB. +4 if you have a shrine to him in your closet.)
You know who Maki and Asuka are. (+2 if you've met Maki and Asuka)
You've watched Kamikaze Girls. (+1 if you know the real name of this movie. +2 if you know who wrote the book this was based on. +3 if you've also read the manga or novel. +4 if you love the author despite his criminal record).
You own a wig. (+1 if you own more than 2.)
You own a pair of falls. 
You can identify lace on the spot.
You can identify an item's brand on the spot.
You can identify the year a dress was made by a specific brand on the spot.
You can name several different dresses or prints.
You answer stock photo requests.
You mod a lolita community.
You decorate your nails. (+1 if you wear fake nails. +2 if you make fake nails.)
You own a pair of a rocking horse shoes. (+1 if you know their abbreviation.)
You've made your own rose corsage.
You've made anything out of your brand dress's waist ties.
You've made anything out of a matching eco tote. (+3 if you were the first one to do it, you think).
You know how to apply false eyelashes.
You know how to pronounce shirring.
You know how to pronounce Moi-meme-moitie, or Metamorphose tempes de fille.
You know a reliable shopping service.
You bid on Yahoo!Japan or Mbok.
You've been to a meetup.
You've planned a meetup.
You've planned a meetup with catering or more than 20 attendees.
You've met up with lolitas while on vacation to foreign or faraway locales.
You've seen a lolita fashion show.
You've seen a brand fashion show.
You've modelled in a lolita fashion show.
You've modelled in a brand lolita fashion show.
You wear bloomers.
You know how to make bloomers.
You tell other people to wear bloomers.
You draw lolita art, write a lolita blog, or provide the community with some sort of creative services.
You've taken purikura in lolita.
You've decorated your room/house/apartment in lolita style.
You've listened to lolita music.
You've learned kana.
You've learned enough Japanese to read a magazine.
You wear or own circle lenses.
You've been called a princess by a young child.
You've dressed up a friend.
You've convert a friend.
You've been in media (television, newspaper, magazine). (+2 points if it's Japanese media.)
You've learned a handicraft, like jewellery making, embroidery, or sewing.
You've become a lolita mentor.
You've attended lolita events at an anime or multi-genre convention.
You’ve organized or presented lolita events at a convention.
You've visited a brand shop.
You've taken a trip to Japan!
You've dressed up and gone out alone.
You're prepared for inclement or colder weather in lolita (coat, parasol, boots, gloves, other climate-specific items.)
You've learned face contouring.
You've made a lolita valentine.
You've got a lolita pen pal or online lolita friends.
You have local lolita friends.
You know how to modify clothes that don't fit you.
You know how to dress for your body type.
You've been in a street snap.
You've been to multiple world locations of the same brand store (BABY Paris, BABY Tokyo, BABY San Francisco, etc.)
You've created a makeup/hair/sewing tutorial.
You've sold hand-created lolita goods.
You have your own lolita fashion line.
You've gotten a lolita haircut, style, or color.
You've mixed other street fashions with lolita.
You've thrown a lolita party/had a lolita wedding.
You've dressed your child/small children in lolita or kodona style.
You've successfully cross-dressed in lolita style at least once (boystyle for girls and girls' clothing for guys).
You've lolified or made sure all the contents of your purse are cute (wallet, lipgloss, keyring, etc.)
You have a lolita pet (small dogs, cats, rabbits, exotic birds, fancy fish) or have dressed/accessorized your pet (bows or pet clothes).
You've dressed your significant other or dated someone who dresses in J-fashion/alternative fashion.
You've read Alice in Wonderland. (+1 if you've seen the animated movie or other variations, +2 if you've seen more than one variation, +3 if you own more than one variation)
You've dressed as Alice or another Wonderland character in lolita style, or own Alice themed items.
You've made something from a Japanese pattern.
You've found, bought, or made lolita underwear (bras and panties).
You wear lolita daily, or have gone 7 days straight wearing only lolita.
You have lolita calling cards or business cards.
You play a lolita instrument (i.e., piano, violin, harp, French horn... well any instrument really.)
You can translate yen to your country's currency in your head. (+1 if you can convert other currencies you shop with as well. +2 if you read the news to know how the yen is doing.)
You've sold lolita clothing online (secondhand, egl_comm_sales).
Your article or entry has been put into the egl memories.
You take photos of your outfits/daily outfit photos.
You’ve posted to daily_lolita.
You own a petticoat. (+1 if you own more than one. +2 if you wear three or more at a time).
You’ve bought a lucky pack.
You keep a style diary or look-book.
You can put together an outfit made entirely from offbrand.
You’ve bought offbrand or non-Japanese brand.

RESULTS

Adorable Admirer (lvls 1 - 20) You've started studying or liking lolita but haven't taken that leap of faith yet. Good luck!
Resplendant Rufflebutt (lvls 21 - 40) At home within the land of the rufflebutts and spilling frills from every edge.
Victorian Maiden (lvls 41 - 60) A classy lolita of taste and experience, who knows her way around the lolita social set.
Starry Celebrity (lvls 61 - 80) On page six of the lolita world, you've risen to the ring of the upper crust.
Pretty Princess (lvls 81 - 100) Lolita royalty, truly versed in the ways of the lacey ones, the lolita princesses have achieved a special level of enlightenment.
Ultimate Lolita (Boss Fight!) (lvls 100+) Wow, you've gotten over 100 levels? You're the ultimate lolita with unlimited hitpoints. That's actually a little scary...

Well, if I've counted correctly, I have 82 points, making me a "Pretty Princess"! My aim now is to become the "Ultimate Lolita" and finally be able to say I made it to the boss fight!

I hope you enjoyed this silly little post! Does anyone else remember taking this quiz? I'd love to know your results if you decide to do it as well! Thanks for looking, and see you next time ❤

My Thoughts on Novala Takemoto

To follow on from the musings of my previous post, I thought I would continue to do a bit more analysis as to why the idea of a lolita lifestyle has become something to edge away from. It's sad that I cannot claim to be a lifestyler without it sounding rather tongue in cheek, attention-seeking, and a bit strange. But given the image created by other self-confessed lifestylers over the years, I am really not surprised!

* * *

As I thought more and more about the topic, I found myself coming to the conclusion that one of the reasons why we have grown to avoid the lifestyle label is because of Novala Takemoto.

Now, there are some things I like about him. I appreciate his intent in dispelling the stereotype that a straight man cannot have a feminine side, or be understanding of femininity. He does, in fact, embrace it entirely, and there are many photos of him from Gothic & Lolita Bibles depicting him in cutesy outfits. 

However, a lot of his thoughts come across as being unrealistic, and downright disturbing.

Consider, for example, his piece entitled "I Don't Need Things Like Friends". I do not see this as a mindset shared by many, and for good reason. This essay centres around some sort of maiden complex, and is thus not built upon reality, but a romantic fantasy. Given that this essay is supposedly aimed at the young, lonely girls who would write to Takemoto regularly, I can't help but find it disconcerting. It is disappointing to see that this early figurehead for lolita fashion took a harmless, and relevant idea of there being a lifestyle which naturally accompanies the life of a lolita, and bastardised it into his own bizarre, potentially damaging construction.

The other week, I decided to purchase a copy of the Kamikaze Girls novel which I had never read, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. It is certainly more satisfying than the film, which I always found to be completely lacking in plot and purpose, despite how visually enticing it is.

Ichigo makes a speech towards the end, explaining to her biker gang the reason why she admired Momoko's friendless existence. She raises the point that people are intent on labelling their relationships with people to create a sense of security for themselves, for fear of being alone. After considering some of these opinions, I find them to be true in certain ways. I think many of us have been caught up in exhausting cliques at some point in our lives, where we were constantly being made to prove our loyalties. Momoko does not face this situation, as Ichigo does, because she is comfortable enough with herself to not need to prove herself to anyone, or sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of belonging to a larger unit. 

Despite this, I do not believe that promoting the idea that the ideal lolita lifestyle should be built upon loneliness, with only a "tv and potted plants" for friends, is a healthy one. To me, it's incredibly bleak, and it skips out what I consider to be one of the most enjoyable parts of being a lolita, and that is the social life you can build from it. I think it's important to impress upon not only young lolitas, but young people in general, that it's simply not worth erasing your personality or making yourself uncomfortable for the sake of being popular. Perhaps a better essay would have been "I don't need to be popular to lead a fulfilling life". I believe that would have made for a more wholesome, realistic read.

I think a danger lies in trying to depict members of the lolita subculture as being inherently different from members of society who stick to more mainstream things. Some people like to be seen as different, and have that "special snowflake" mentality about lolita fashion (which I find pretty ironic seeing as lolita has such a strong set of aesthetic rules from which we try not to deviate. Sorry, but this is not a "unique" person's fashion!), but most of us don't. Takemoto's writings paint lolita at large to be a movement centred around socially inept, cold individuals who pretend to be maidens, and that's really not the case. Is lolita not simply a passion in the same way sports, films, books, or model planes are for others? Why should any of these hobbies result in eccentric personalities?

I'm surprised that with the conclusion of Kamikaze Girls, in which Momoko finally appreciates all that friendship can bring, we don't see Takemoto stressing the importance of community, and how fulfilling it can be to have a special someone in our lives, even if we are not romantically involved with them. Instead, a common theme in his often eerie work (which you can find English translations of online with a bit of googling) seems to be fear of betrayal, with distancing yourself from others presented as a sensible long term solution.

I'm glad Takemoto was able to help with the process of spreading lolita fashion beyond Japan with Kamikaze Girls. But I do believe many of his writings to be questionable, forcing upon others an ideal that very few people within the lolita subculture would ever wholeheartedly share. Plus, I suppose I always find myself becoming wary of anyone who comments on something they have no experience in, or are not really a part of. 

Of course, he is clearly learned in the look of lolita, given the descriptions he was able to put together of Momoko's outfits throughout Kamikaze Girls. He has even done collaboration pieces with Baby, The Stars Shine Bright in the past. But from reading his work (and seeing his own bizarre outfits to be honest), I have gotten the impression he fell in love with this look, and in doing so, conjured up his own interpretation, his own "daydream carnival" of the mindset every lolita should have to go along with their clothes. I guess it's similar to the way in which some people are able to fall in love with the idea of love-- they love their own perceived, inaccurate musings which are based upon imagination, rather than true life experience.

It would be unfair of me to blame Takemoto completely for the current mentality towards wearing lolita clothing. Besides, I find myself really not wanting to. Somehow, I can't help but have an odd sense of admiration for someone so completely comfortable sharing these personal aspects of themselves (he claims Momoko is his alter ego) despite knowing they will be considered incredibly unusual. 

As discussed before, the current lolita climate has been affected by how accessible the fashion has become, people no longer getting into it via the lolita (and so, egl on livejournal) route, plus a general distaste for the idea that clothes can somehow affect your life on a deeper level. But perhaps it is also the extreme views such as those expressed by Takemoto, plus the hardcore, seemingly contrived quaintrelle image, which allowed the "lifestyle lolita" moniker to become an embarrassing joke which none of us wants to be the butt of.

❤

The Forgotten Lolita Lifestyle

When I first got into lolita, things were very different. For one thing, lolita was generally considered to be more than just a fashion style, but a lifestyle, too. There was even a blog (hands up if you remember The Princess Portal!) which was devoted to the lolita lifestyle. I adored seeing posts on the egl livejournal about lolifying your life, and the things you could do to make your home more lolita influenced and whimsical. As well as the beautiful clothes, these were the things that really captured my attention and made me want to be a part of the lolita subculture.

Kamikaze Girls (2004) where Momoko takes the lolita lifestyle to the extreme!

In recent months, I've been seeing a lot of people shooting down the notion that there exists a lolita lifestyle. I have to say, this baffles me somewhat. I don't think any of us really expects someone to change their entire personality and behaviours just because they're wearing a frilly dress, or to pretend they live in 18th century France like Momoko in Kamikaze Girls, but can you really deny that becoming a lolita is in itself a huge lifestyle change? 

Unless you were already into expensive fashions before, or were used to buying designer clothing, it is a transformation of your idea of clothing's worth. Of course, lolita can be bought secondhand and often for affordable prices, but  before I got into lolita, I had never had to be thrifty or buy used clothing. If I needed new clothes I could replace old items in Primark for very little. I'd never had to save up money for a single item of clothing before, and I had never bought an expensive dress, apart from my prom dress when I was sixteen. I assumed that was ok-- you were meant to splash out for special occasion clothing. But not everyday items, surely!

Thus, becoming a lolita completely changed how I lived my life. I became more interested in clothing quality, learning about different types of lace, coordinating outfits, making accessories... None of these things had mattered when I was decked out in jeans and a t-shirt. I began to show clothing a new sort of reverence. It became a hobby.

I definitely felt encouraged by the fashion to explore my creativity. Before, I had been convinced that academia was the only way in which I would ever be able to prove my worth to the rest of the world. But lolita changed my mind. I realised how important fashion and creating things were to me. I gained a new interest and respect for the art and fashion world, and realised that this was a way in which I could make life fulfilling for myself, regardless of what others expected of me. Indie brands are everywhere in lolita. This idea that anyone could start their own brand inspired me in a large way, and I have found that the community in general is full of artistic talent and interested in crafts, moreso than in most other fashion styles I should think. I know I never would have challenged myself to do what I love had I never gotten into lolita.

There's a certain self assuredness that comes from lolita fashion. Whenever you wear it, you know people you encounter on the street will do double takes, comment on what you're wearing, ask questions, laugh, smile, point, stop in their tracks to stare. Once you get over the initial discomfort that comes with this, there then comes a certain confidence, and a thick skin develops. Through lolita I found that I changed my view of how I should react to others' opinions. I value those of the people who care about me for sure, but I found myself realising how insignificant the negative thoughts of a random person I may never see again are. I found myself prioritising my own happiness.

Lolita changes not only your personal lifesyle and thought processes, but also those of how you approach your social life. Most lolitas have lolita friends they spend time with, often through lolita meetups. Before lolita came into my life, it never occurred to me that I could go out and spend time with people due to a shared interest. I became a meetup regular starting in 2013, and now I have a group of best friends I never would have known had it not been for lolita fashion. Lolita has its own social club aspect to it-- you go and meet people regularly, and eventually, friendships form. That's not to say that all lolitas will get along just because they wear the same clothes. But lolita does give you the ability to get in touch with people you might never have had the opportunity to otherwise.

Other fond memories I have of my early days in lolita are the personalities who used to be so important. Everyone knew who Moon Kana was, and everyone owned Kanon Wakeshima's Shinshoku Dolce. Both of these women were considered to be lolita icons; for the former's constant appearance in the Gothic and Lolita Bibles, and both of their contributions to what we all considered to be lolita music. Novala Takemoto was iconic for his writings on what it meant to be a lolita. There was a gentle side to the fashion in which no-one was afraid to identify with poetic, quaint interpretations of the reasons this fashion had spoken to all of us in some way.

A typical Moon Kana photoshoot from a Gothic and Lolita Bible

Certain aspects of lolita fashion today bother me. In some ways, its steadily growing popularity is a good thing. It means the clothing is more accessible, and people are more likely to understand what you're wearing and why. But newcomers are not finding out about the fashion through the egl community on livejournal. Newcomers are missing out on not only an invaluable resource chock full of information collected over the years, but also a kind of lolita culture that is no longer prevalent. It's not a terrible thing, but it still makes me a little sad. 

The online community doesn't feel as tight knit as it once did, and the decrease in livejournal presence is upsetting. I have fond memories of some of the really interesting discussions that took place there. Tumblr is fast and great for exposure as we all know, but it's not a discussion platform. It doesn't allow for any dialogue to be set up between a group of people, and I feel disconnected from the lolita community outside of reblogging coordinate photos (and even then, I believe daily_lolita was much better for receiving feedback on your outfits). I used to participate in the egl tinychat, which was basically an opportunity to talk to any livejournal lolitas who happened to be online at the time the link was posted to the main community. We'd talk about clothes, our lives, musings on the world around us... it was relaxing and it made me feel like I was part of something bigger than just a fashion style. Nowadays, the lolita community at large feels incredibly fragmented, and its migration from livejournal to tumblr and facebook are most likely to blame. 

As you can see, I have a lot of nostalgia for how lolita used to be. People just entering the fashion must be having a completely different experience to those who entered it years ago. I try to move with the times, and yet it is very hard to see the aspects that made lolita lolita for you being wiped away and considered passé.

I myself agree that you cannot be a "lolita at heart" if you don't wear the fashion, and that in principle, playing a classical instrument for example is not a "lolita activity". However, as far as I'm concerned, there is a lolita lifestyle, and it is simply made up of aspects of your life that have been influenced by the very fact you wear lolita fashion, and to shut down anyone who agrees with this is unfair. We are all entitled to our own interpretation. It may not be something you agree with or get. But if you've been wearing lolita for years, are still active on egl, or simply aren't afraid to consider how lolita is so different from other fashions and has its own influences on your daily life, you'll know what I'm talking about. And this is for you.

To end this post, I'll use the words I wrote as a seventeen-year-old about my feelings towards lifestylers:

I firmly believe anything that can have such a huge impact on a person's life is indeed, a contributing factor to their lifestyle. You don't have to sit around drinking tea, playing with dolls or flower-arranging to be a lifestyler. You simply need to have a special place in your heart and in your life for the beauty and magical things that come with being a lolita.

I am a lifestyle lolita. Are you?  ❤