Goodness, it's been a while. This past month or so brought with it unexpected challenges and events that threw my posting schedule out of whack. As per.
I started a new job last month and honestly, work has been super draining for me. Not in an "I'm so busy all day and absolutely shattered by the time I get home!" sort of way. More of a "Work is so menial and bland and boring that I arrive home frustrated by lack of mental stimulation" kind of situation.
I think the main problem is that I love learning too much. I have always been thirsty for gaining more knowledge, for self improvement, for continually expanding my horizons, for feeling like I've achieved something each day. I love helping people and I love creating positive change, even if only in a small way. I love being around intelligent, interesting people who push me to better myself and whose conversations inspire me. I have the complete opposite. As it is, I can more or less do my entire day's work in maybe 2 or 3 hours, and the rest of the time, it's tough going trying to stretch this out. I don't want to look back on my twenties and realise I did absolutely nothing of value with them because I spent them in some dead end job where day in and day out I listen to people who make casual racist, sexist, and homophobic comments, and whose worldviews are entirely built upon the tiny bubble they've never felt the need to venture beyond. So naturally, I'm constantly searching for new opportunities that will get me out of the wildly unsatisfying position I'm currently in.
There are positives to my current situation, though, like the financial stability I couldn't make happen quickly enough via my indie brand, and the experience I can now add to my CV. In addition, someone on my team really came through for me and on their own time fixed my laptop, which I'd spent the last week without because a Windows 10 update pushed it over the edge. It is sheer bliss to be able to get some writing done, and I wouldn't have been able to have that sorted out so quickly had I not made the connections I have here already. Gotta focus on that silver lining!
As expected, I am really enjoying autumn. One thing I have to say about my workplace is that it's set on the most beautiful campus, where so many trees are turning shades of yellow, gold, and scarlet red.
Autumn is the season when I feel most alive, and at my most witchy. I always find myself re-reading or ordering books on witchcraft, planning Sabbat celebrations, and watching pagan YouTubers around this time of year because out of nowhere, I feel very spiritual again. When those gentle breezes blow their way through the colourful leaves on the trees, with the sunlight jangling down towards me, it always feels as though nature is whispering something comforting and beautiful, and I can't help but turn my face upwards and listen.
As expected, I am really enjoying autumn. One thing I have to say about my workplace is that it's set on the most beautiful campus, where so many trees are turning shades of yellow, gold, and scarlet red.
🚗 🚗🚗
A really exciting change I've wanted to share for a while is that on the 1st of October, one of those big life events happened for me and I got my very first car!
My next door neighbour is an elderly lady who holds what I believe is a bridge night at her house with her pals every Tuesday. On one of these Tuesday evenings, an adorable mint green car turned up outside her house, ready for the bridge club to commence. I found out that this car was in fact a Fiat 500. I've never been much of a car person, aside from being an avid player of Test Drive 5 in my childhood (my car of choice was always a purple Plymouth Hemi Cuda) but this car in particular spoke to me as soon as I saw it. Somehow, there was something so lolita about it!
With the help of my dad, I managed to track down a 500 not too far a drive away from us, in really good condition, at a decent price, and low mileage. We set off super early that rainy Saturday morning and when we got to the car dealership, I was surprised by the fact the car was a warmer colour than it looked in the photos. But as soon as I sat in the car I knew it was the one.
And here it is. Mustard yellow and absolutely fantastic.
Can we talk about how cute the trim of this car is!? I adore the cream steering wheel and yellow dashboard!
My first two weeks of being a proper driver weren't the best, I must admit. I suffered from the worst sort of car anxiety, that had me unable to eat breakfast in the mornings, and breathing heavily the entire time I was behind the wheel on my commute to and from work. On one particularly stressful morning I ended up having a panic attack and had to get the bus instead because I simply couldn't face being on the road. And then... something happened. I realised that so much of the pressure I was putting on myself was hardly about driving itself, but about the place I was going to-- my dreaded work environment. I got behind that wheel again after a few days break and I was ok. I took off my P plates/new driver magnets and drove with an unexpected feeling of calm. Since then, I've gotten to a stage where I actually quite enjoy my drive to and from work! The next challenges I want to set myself include some mini road trips, and eventually I'm going to conquer motorway driving!
I can't help feeling really proud of how far I've come in all this. This time last year I was absolutely convinced I would never pass my driving test, and that I just wasn't cut out for this whole driving thing. Now I feel this great sense of freedom, and every time my skills improve or I manage to do something I wasn't capable of before, I get so excited about it! I'm so happy to have what is essentially my dream car, and in a colour that is very odd and somehow very me!
Are any of you into cars? Do you drive? Do you think the Fiat 500 is as amazing as I do!? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time, hopefully without such a long break in between posts again! ❤
With the help of my dad, I managed to track down a 500 not too far a drive away from us, in really good condition, at a decent price, and low mileage. We set off super early that rainy Saturday morning and when we got to the car dealership, I was surprised by the fact the car was a warmer colour than it looked in the photos. But as soon as I sat in the car I knew it was the one.
And here it is. Mustard yellow and absolutely fantastic.
I may or may not have worn a yellow outfit in case the car at the dealership turned out to be a keeper. I'm glad I did!
My first two weeks of being a proper driver weren't the best, I must admit. I suffered from the worst sort of car anxiety, that had me unable to eat breakfast in the mornings, and breathing heavily the entire time I was behind the wheel on my commute to and from work. On one particularly stressful morning I ended up having a panic attack and had to get the bus instead because I simply couldn't face being on the road. And then... something happened. I realised that so much of the pressure I was putting on myself was hardly about driving itself, but about the place I was going to-- my dreaded work environment. I got behind that wheel again after a few days break and I was ok. I took off my P plates/new driver magnets and drove with an unexpected feeling of calm. Since then, I've gotten to a stage where I actually quite enjoy my drive to and from work! The next challenges I want to set myself include some mini road trips, and eventually I'm going to conquer motorway driving!
I can't help feeling really proud of how far I've come in all this. This time last year I was absolutely convinced I would never pass my driving test, and that I just wasn't cut out for this whole driving thing. Now I feel this great sense of freedom, and every time my skills improve or I manage to do something I wasn't capable of before, I get so excited about it! I'm so happy to have what is essentially my dream car, and in a colour that is very odd and somehow very me!
Are any of you into cars? Do you drive? Do you think the Fiat 500 is as amazing as I do!? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time, hopefully without such a long break in between posts again! ❤
I hope that you'll find something to get you through the working day painlessly. I know I hated it when there was nothing to do at work, the day just drags, but you still have to "look busy", which makes absolutely no sense. So plenty of virtual hugs!
ReplyDeleteI've seen those Fiats 500, they're so adorable! And the ones where the owners have stuck some fake eyelashes on the front lights are even more cute (are you going to do that?). I haven't learnt to drive - partly because I don't believe that I have any need for it (everywhere I need to go or want to go on a more regular basis I can get to with public transport, which is also environmentally better) and partly because I'm a little scared to (there seems like you have to remember a lot of things and pay attention to a lot of things all at once, and too much depends on other people and where I live people are TERRIBLE drivers). However, I'm gradually coming round and starting to consider learning to drive that little bit more seriously. Mostly because of Lolita, as then I'd be able to travel to more meets, even in pretty distant comms, but also because it'd make daily life that little bit more convenient (not having to carry all your grocery shopping on the bus or have to call a taxi is always nice). I know that I'm definitely a small, cute car kind of girl: colourful Fiats 500 or Mini Coopers are right up my street! But I think I'd want a Toyota Aygo myself, I like to think that Japanese cars are still a reliable long-term investment. And I'd totally put fake eyelashes on my car! :3
I often sit and search for other jobs, check social media, and read random articles I stumble across. Anything to kill some time and find ways to get out of here, haha. Thank you! It's nice when other people can relate. I think on the surface the idea of having nothing to do sounds great to people who have never experienced this sort of boredom before-- the kind that has a bad knock-on effect on your mental health.
DeleteI am definitely not a car-with-eyelashes sort of person, and love my ray of sunshine as it is ^_^ Where I live has a really good public transport system (and the fourth most popular bus service in the country!) so not being able to drive before wasn't a massive life hindrance. However, since starting my new job which is further away from home than my last one, public transport would eat up a massive amount of my week where commuting was concerned as I had to take two separate buses each way. Oh, and getting the bus home late at night after hanging out with friends always made me feel very frightened. Now I can park at my local station, enjoy my day, and head straight home (previously I'd have to travel to the main town centre station miles from home, then double back on myself as my local station isn't actually on my bus route! I just accepted that I needed to do these things and now I don't I realise just how ridiculous it was!) Fiat 500s are pretty eco as far as cars go, which is another thing I like about them. I still use public transport a lot, and definitely don't drive around for the sake of it (though I probably should for a while to build up my skills and confidence!)
I'm not going to lie-- learning to drive was quite a process for me and I hated every minute of it. Once you get into the swing of things then all those things you need to be aware of and think about become second nature. Getting used to being on the road is easy for some people, and hard for others. However, I don't doubt you'd be able to do it, especially if an anxious wreck like me (who used to disassociate during driving lessons! can get through it! It's nice not having to rely on other people for those odd occasions where I need to be somewhere inaccessible by public transport. If you do decide to go ahead and learn, make sure you feel comfortable with your instructor. Looking back, I don't think my instructor was right for me... but it's done now.
Yeah, I always hear really good things about Japanese cars, so that would probably serve you well! And haha, I love seeing customised cars! I sometimes entertain getting colourful floor mats and other little accessories for the interior. We'll see how that goes XD
That is great news! I should choice a venicle I really like to get a vespa. They are so adorable. But expensive in purchase.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteAhh, wonderful choice! Vespas are so pretty! They look like a lot of fun to ride as well, and come in such lovely range of colours. It's a shame about the price!