🌸 Saint Aymes, the Cute Floral Café 🌸

This post will be about a day out that is hard to believe happened way back at the end of March! Where is this year going?

On Saturday 31st March I headed into London to meet up with Reina and Memz, to try out Saint Aymes, a café I'd been hearing a lot about due to its pretty decor and pastel desserts. It was a rainy day but was fairly mild, and the occasional bursts of sunlight made things feel atmospheric!

The café is situated fairly close to Paddington Station, in what we ended up describing as a "strange area." The place had a stuck-up, quiet air, and despite not exactly being far from central, it felt worlds away.

Once we'd all assembled at the café we were led downstairs to a further seating area and the friendly staff took our orders. We'd all come dressed in appropriately pastel, Easter themed outfits, and it only seemed right to try out the Easter cupcakes on offer!

All the choices looked heavenly and looking at this picture is making me want to go back!

Look at the little bunny ears peeping up through the grass frosting! This cake was super yummy!

Reina and Memz went for the little biscuits and they after sampling, I can confirm they were delicious, too. We also did a three way split of the pink unicorn latte which was... not the best, gold leaf, or no gold leaf!

Super cute, but underwhelming! We regretted adding the coffee and not simply enjoying it as a milkshake instead! I don't think any of us were that bothered, though, as the overall ambiance in the café was really quite lovely. On this day the playlist had lots of mid-noughties hits and generally fun music we found ourselves bobbing along to.

It was great to catch up with them and hear what was going on in their lives. I was recommended to try watching RuPaul's Drag Race. I've still not gotten round to it. After the hype about it everywhere and this huge build up, I guess I'm worried it won't live up to expectations!

I love this photo from Reina's phone! Reina went for super girly, almost hime gyaru look, and Memz went for her usual wacky style, coordinating pink with yellow most effortlessly.  I still have that habit of pretty much always wearing black but this was quite a pastel, different look for me, I think!

Naturally, we had to take some photos outside the café, too!

I accidentally ended up matching the flowers!

After we had our fill of photos, we headed off into central to areas with a less bizarre atmosphere... although I have to say, Dover Street Market was quite the experience for me. It was my first time going, and while it was super cool to see some designer brands in the flesh that I'd always admired online (Molly Goddard's pieces are so beautiful!), the overall vibe in there was incredibly odd. Our favourite find of the day was probably the short sleeved men's shirt made out of thick plastic bag material. Guess how much it was. I won't keep you hanging: £600. #fashion

Overall, I had a really lovely day, which was rounded off by a trip to Farm Girl café on Carnaby Street for the hipster staple that is avocado toast. Before we knew it, it was well into the evening-- which explained why we all felt so inexplicably exhausted!

I love days like this where you forget what time it is and can drift around merely enjoying one another's company. I'm looking forward to hanging out with them again, and trying more London cafés,  of which there is always something fun or unique to choose from!

Thank you so much for reading this Easter throwback post! Have you had any fun experiences recently at themed cafés? Ever found strange designer items that looked like they were made in a primary school art class? I'd love to hear about it!

See you next time! ❤

😴 Hibernation and Transformation ✨

January is without question the hangover of the previous year for me. I never have any motivation, the momentum of Christmas and the New Year have burst, and nobody really wants to do much of anything because they're broke after splashing out over the festive period. And so, I generally find myself going into social hibernation! Still, a "hangover" usually suggests you really went in hard on something, and boy did I do that with 2017. I don't think I'd ever felt more alive and while it seems to have set me back a little health wise, it was so, so worth pushing myself to have what ended up being a beautiful, transformative time spent with people who inspire me every single day.

💫     💫     💫

My last post (which was woefully long ago, back at the start of December) was actually an account of a day in November. I never actually got round to talking about the Christmas period, which is a shame as it was a lively, positive time.

I spent several days hanging out in London with my partner, where we did a ton of shopping, tried some new food places, and generally enjoyed one another's company in our favourite place to be. We visited our typical haunts like Soho so we could pop into the Lazy Oaf shop, but also hung out in Camden, which I've not done for years, and visited a super cute boutique called Sister Jane on Portobello Road. That was a wild one and I wish I took pictures there because the shop was accessed down an alleyway, and then up a long fire escape into a converted chapel building, set on two levels. Really cool place!

In Lazy Oaf, which had a soft, dreamy installation during December!

I was pleased to be able to cross the adorable Peggy Porschen café off my list, even though by the time we made it there it was dark and pouring with rain outside. Still, it didn't stop us from sampling a slice of their cake, which I've heard so much about through Instagram. I can confirm it is really lovely, and I'm looking forward to going back when warmer weather comes so I can really enjoy the experience and not have to dash back to a hotel room in the rain to sample it in less than aesthetically pleasing conditions.

So many gorgeous cakes! We went for the lemon, rose, and raspberry layer cake and it was heavenly.

💫     💫     💫

The fact we're already two months into the year (which I can't even call the New Year anymore, really!) is a little scary, and I feel like there's so much I want to do and need to get a move on with. For one thing, my business space needs an upgrade. I simply cannot expand my brand in the way I'd like to while working from my bedroom, so I've been trying to put plans in place so I can have an actual studio space where I can be productive, instead of having my supplies spread out in various cupboards in different rooms, and no set working area. 

I want to release my cherry collection and actually do the things I set out to do ages ago, but simply haven't been able to due to various misfortunes towards the end of 2017. I still haven't figured out how I want to approach things when it comes to selling at conventions (the larger ones are just so expensive and my less than profitable Hyper Japan experience in 2016 makes me wary) but I know it's the logical way forward.

It probably looks like I spend all my free time at that shop but I swear I don't, haha.

Fashion wise, I don't have much of a shopping habit for someone who adores clothing, but it's felt good to actively tune out of the releases from my favourite brands, and try to look at my current collection with a fresh pair of eyes. I've been getting more and more into developing my own style outside of the framework of lolita, though that fashion will always remain close to my heart and still makes regular appearances!

Bury me with that AP bag tbh.

There's pieces I don't tend to wear very often that have been fun to dig out and style in ways I've not tried before. I find as the years pass, I feel less inclined to be involved in having this fast growing collection, or buying releases as they come out. I don't feel pressure anymore to keep up with other people and the limitations of not constantly having new pieces to coordinate outfits with has been  a refreshing challenge for my imagination. I do get the odd new thing sometimes (the purple Monki cardigan above was my anniversary gift!) but it has to be something that feels completely right, that I know I'll be able to coordinate in endless weird and wonderful ways.

Lately I've been documenting my daily outfits for work on my instagram stories. I find that the act of taking a picture of an outfit gives me the motivation to keep up with making interesting looks each day, and I'm really enjoying that little burst of creativity, which breaks up the monotony of dull days in the office.

So... that was a rundown of some of the things I've been up to lately, and some thoughts on where I'm at right now! How have you been finding the past couple of months? Do you thrive in chilly weather, or do you crash and burn at the start of a year like I do!? I'd love to hear your thoughts, and I've missed you while I've been away from here!

Thanks for reading as ever, and see you next time ❤

Catch Up Post: The Minori Tea Party 🍰

Hey everyone!

Seems like such a long time since I updated here! I ended up getting ill for an entire month (I'm only just getting over the last of a dry cough!) which threw all of my creative pursuits out of the window. I managed a couple of bloomer commissions during October (with difficulty. The fatigue was real, and working for an hour required a day's recovery from it) but otherwise, most things got neglected. It sucked wanting to see people, socialise, and experience my favourite season, but not being able to. Still, being laid up in bed with too much light sensitivity to check social media gave me a lot of time to think, which did me a world of good after spending so much of the year feeling like I was going at 100mph. It sounds strange, but I feel quite refreshed after that bout of illness, and ready to take on what's left of this year.

I thought I'd do a couple of catch up posts talking about a few things that I have been up to this season so far, before I got ill, and after. 

So, prior to falling ill...

Not too long after my last post was the Minori Tea Party at the start of October. I wasn't feeling amazingly that day, and the weather was grey and drizzly. Feeling a little fatigued, I headed to the Grange White Hall Hotel, for afternoon tea. 

It's just on the other side of Russel Square, which was beginning to look autumnal.

The food was a lot better than I expected. I thought it wouldn't be up to much due to the fact it would be served buffet style, but it was actually a very large spread, and everyone was able to have seconds and thirds etc, if they felt so inclined. 

I particularly enjoyed the sandwiches, and ended up having seconds! There were some good vegetarian options, too, which tasted great!

I'll let you in on something-- I'm very apathetic when it comes to meeting "celebrities" or "famous" people. I've yet to feel truly starstruck, or excited to meet someone in the same way I know other people can be. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing; I think it's important to remain grounded about the fact that no matter how well-known someone is, they're still just another person like you at the end of the day! I've met Minori once before at Enchanted in 2014, and she's pretty chill-- you never get the sense that she sees herself as being above anyone else, and I couldn't help thinking she just wished she shared a language with us so she could hang out like any other attendee and relax with people! I think it would be cool to meet some of these Japanese guests we get at these J-fashion events in a different, less stuffy setting, as like I said before... I don't really get the whole "meet and greet" thing.

This lighting does me absolutely no favours, but we endure. I felt like a giant compared to her! Minori's look was very intricate as ever, and I was amazed by how big her false eyelashes were!

The hotel had a small astro-turfed courtyard where we took a group photo, and later on, I was able to sneak off with Reina and Charlie for our own outfit photos in natural lighting. On the way, there was a surreal moment where I was accosted by a few people telling me that I should make bloomers with pockets. Well, I'll definitely think about it!

I went for something a little different than usual, with my Meta Vintage Cameo jumperskirt. I don't wear it too much as I'm not classically inclined, really, and see it as more of a normie piece. But it was nice to have a change, even if I did miss the more cutesy themes of my usual pieces!

We managed to get a group picture once back indoors. The lighting in the room wasn't great, but this still turned out pretty cute! Shame I didn't match the purple theme going on here! Their outfits were so lovely!

After our little photoshoot, it was more or less time for the raffle. I didn't win anything in the end, but that was to be expected. I've never been known for having much luck where these things are concerned! Some of the prizes were really decent, and I hadn't expected there to be so many.

Over the course of the day, we'd all been writing messages and adding stickers to a book to give to Minori as a gift. She had an interpreter with her, but it must be difficult to be in an unfamiliar environment, surrounded by people you don't share a language with. She coped with this with so much grace, and overall seemed very good-natured.

The event started to wrap up as daylight began to fade outside, and I headed off with Reina and Charlie to Covent Garden for a mooch around. On our way, we found ourselves surrounded by people dressed as zombies, fake blood and latex injuries included. I wouldn't have minded, were it not for the fact it all seemed in very poor taste given the fact there had been a terror attack that very same day, plus the fact they kept growling as they walked past us, or breathing creepily at us. By all means, dress up how you want, do whatever it is you want to get your kicks, but don't involve people who haven't consented to your nonsense. It was the final straw for me when one of the zombies deliberately staggered close to me-- and ended up smearing fake blood on my white bag despite my best efforts to step out of the way. Thankfully, this wiped off without too much hassle, but I couldn't help feeling pissed off about the complete lack of  respect for other people displayed by these zombie prats.

It was with some relief we finally made it to Art Box, and I couldn't help feeling immediately better once surrounded by all the kawaii stationery and lifestyle accessories! After a trip into a very crowded Forbidden Planet, we finally decided to head home. 

Overall, the tea party felt very stuffy and low energy compared with DMC, where the entire day had felt like a chilled out party or something. I don't suppose it helped that I was feeling a bit ill, and the heat of the room wasn't helping matters! There was also an atmosphere of "post-Tea Party Club" uncertainty lingering in the air, with this being the first London event since DMC. Still, it was lovely to hang out with friends, the food was great (I actually wish I'd taken some home with me!), and Raven organised everything so well that the event actually wrapped up a little early! She did an excellent job!

"Let's get a group selfie!" *Instax develops to reveal a picture that mainly consists of my face*

How do you guys feel about "celebrities" or "meet and greets"? Have you ever been harassed in the street in the name of other people's fun? Been to any tea parties lately? Been in poor health? Let's catch up! I'd love to hear about it all in the comments!

Thank you so much for reading. See you next time! ❤

Dream Masquerade Carnival 🎠 Part 2: The End.

Day two of DMC was a lot more relaxed. The tea party started much later in the day than the Saturday event, and the fact I wouldn't have to do any organising or vending meant that I felt more calm. Too calm, perhaps, because I fell into bed the night before without really thinking through what I would be wearing the following day.

The tea party is when people really ramp it up a notch, as this is the day when the special guests make their decision about who should be awarded a prize for best outfit. I knew that some people had been planning their coordinates months in advance. Me? I grabbed something that morning and headed to the train station. I wore Dreaming Macaron-- a cute, fruit-themed print that I figured would be pleasant on such a hot, sunny day. In the last minute decision making, I didn't coordinate the dress as well as I knew I could have, but honestly, I didn't really care. Looking a bit ita was very much secondary to the fact this would be my first time going to a big tea party like this, and absolutely nothing could dampen my excitement!

I arrived right on time, and found myself at One Whitehall Place, the same venue as Frock On! 4 years previously. That sense of things coming full circle embraced me as I stepped into that familiar lobby, with its winding staircase at the back. Instead of heading upstairs, though, I was advised to go down, and found a crowded, talkative room of lolitas in a basement waiting area. I chatted to a few people, before it was finally time to be seated. Most unexpectedly (for me, at least), there was a mini-stampede as everyone pushed and shoved to be as close to the front of the queue as possible. I was actually separated from my friends because people barged in front of me. Thankfully, my pals promised to save me a seat and went on ahead.

The tea party room was large but very crowded. It was difficult to move between the tables, and I felt that too many tickets had been sold. There were people who I didn't get to speak to because it was simply too difficult at times to make my way across the room to talk to them! It took a bit of manoeuvring for me to merely claim my saved seat, and I felt tired at the thought of having to leave it again! I particularly felt for the wait staff. They did an amazing job of keeping us all topped up with tea, despite the space constraints.

There was an assortment of small gifts laid out on the tables. I claimed my pieces and we sat chatting, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did, so we got up to take pictures, to mingle with the other attendees, and generally relax.

My table! We were given badges, fans, and hair accessories. As well as food, of course. Look at those pretty sandwiches!

After a while, it was time for everybody to settle down for food. I quite enjoyed the afternoon tea-- the sandwiches had particularly nice fillings, and thee were enough provided to go round for everyone. Our table didn't seem to have very many desserts, though, so all I ended up with was a slither of carrot cake-- not that I'm complaining! I was very content! The only tea choice was breakfast tea, though, which was slightly disappointing as I'm an earl grey girl through and through! Bizarrely, an announcement was made as soon as we started eating that we would now all need to go take the group photo. I couldn't be bothered: I'd been in the group photo in the past and never really felt excited by the tiny brown blob that was my face way at the back each time. I continued to eat instead, and it was nice having the room a little emptier for a while. You can see who was on my table in this little clip of Charlie's video about the event! (can't lie, I really enjoy the rare occasion I get filmed by other people because I look much better on film than in pictures!)

It was wonderful to chat to some new people, and catch up with old friends. Not even getting my dress tulle stuck between two chairs, causing it to tear, affected my day too drastically (I'm thinking fabric glue will fix this little issue). Once upon a time I would have felt so anxious, and not made the most of the event. This time, though, I felt so in my element, and just enjoyed being there, being a lolita, and being part of this community. The day was such a whirlwind that I didn't really remember to take pictures. I actually filmed a lot of the weekend, though. Whether or not I will be able to create a decent event report out of this dodgy quality footage is another matter entirely, but we'll see!

Not my best look, complete with harsh sunshine to create a delightfully unflattering image, but whatever, haha.

Towards the end of the event, Kyra announced the end of the Tea Party Club, something I'd seen coming many months back. Regardless, it still felt like such a bittersweet moment. I completely understood why she did it, and I felt so privileged to have been there to see it go out with a bang. 

The Tea Party Club gave me a social life. It introduced me to people I never would have met otherwise, who I share real hobbies and interests with. How different would my life be had I not joined the LiveJournal way back when I was sixteen years old? It doesn't bear thinking about! But I've grown and changed so much since then, and so has the Tea Party Club. As painful as it can be to move on, to leave the past and your old self behind, it can also be rewarding and refreshing, and I have no doubt that while this era comes to an end, something new is just around the corner.

I didn't win anything in the raffle, and as the event had overrun by half an hour, I had to leg it to catch my 6 o'clock train home. I made it with mere minutes to spare, and couldn't help give myself a pat on the back for this impressive feat!

So, that was my Run DMC weekend! I think back on it often, because it truly is such a happy memory, and makes me feel so cheerful and positive inside! I know for sure that it will stay with me for years to come ❤

Dream Masquerade Carnival 🎠 Part 1: A Dream Come True

I've been pretty absent from this blog as of late, and for good reason. I was faced with the unexpected task of preparing for an event I thought I was no longer in the running to vend at... on top of a full time "normie" job. To say it was a test of my resolve is an understatement. I never knew I had it in me to get home from a day at work and go straight to my sewing machine, to drawing up plans for outfits, to ironing out design flaws and figuring out things I thought I would need much longer to do. It was a challenge, but honestly, it was incredibly rewarding. This is going to be a long post so please settle down with a refreshment of your choice! I hope you will enjoy reading about what was honestly one of the best experiences of my entire life.

🍭     🍬     🎀

I was up until very late on Friday 25th August, finishing off bloomers, trying to make accessories for myself to wear, and packing everything I would need for my stall. Seemingly all of a sudden, Saturday 26th August was upon me: the day of Dream Masquerade Carnival, the tenth anniversary of the Tea Party Club, and the first ever UK Angelic Pretty event!

After a restless 5 or so hours, I had to be up again to catch my 7:51 train. And wouldn't you know it... I missed the damn train by about 30 seconds, due to not being able to make it over the train bridge with my heavy suitcase quickly enough. I watched it zoom off into the distance and tried not to cry or panic. This was OK, I told myself. There will be another train.

The next train wasn't for another half hour, and after bumping into a few other lolitas on the way to the event at the connecting service, I began dressing fully, putting on my petticoat, my beret and hair bow, and finding my wristcuffs. Not long to go.

Someone mentioned it would be easier to take the bus, so trusting in their judgement, I got the number 23 from Paddington, and off we whizzed down to Charing Cross. As it was so early, there was barely any traffic, and we got there in good time, all things considered.

At 116 Pall Mall, a lovely member of staff showed me to the lifts and took my right up to St James 1, where my table was situated. I was the last vendor to arrive and there were only 15 minutes to go until the gold ticket members would be allowed into the venue. 

My neighbours were Summer Tales Boutique, who kindly helped me to set up my clothing rail after seeing me basically staring at all the pieces in confusion. About twenty minutes later, my table was more or less ready and I finally felt myself relaxing. It was going to be OK!

I stood back and admired the finished product. 

It looked better than I could have hoped for, and it was then I felt truly ready for the event to begin!

It was getting to around half ten before the attendees began streaming in to have a look at the stalls, and it wasn't long before I started to make some sales! Unlike my experience at Hyper Japan last year, my bestselling items weren't the small accessories, but the bloomers and the berets! One girl walked past and flashed me her mint bloomers, excitedly telling me she'd purchased them from me in the past! Moments like that truly are the best thing; knowing that people are wearing and appreciating your work is unbelievably motivating. I spent a lot of the day feeling the fuzzies, to be honest.

My friends Sammi and Nicola came to help me, taking over so I could rush off to use the toilet, and do the many other duties that cropped up during the day. I had a quick chance that morning to have a wander around the event, and I bumped into my fellow blogging friend Miriam! She looked super cute, and we decided to get some pictures at the gorgeous backdrop in the photo area. I'm so happy that she got such a fabulous picture of me!

My coordinate matched the backdrop perfectly! It was my first time wearing a proper, full coordinate with Miracle Candy, and I'm so pleased with how it turned out, from the candy cane hold-ups that were a lucky find on eBay, to the candy patched I attached to my beret the night before (also from eBay!) I think this is the best coordinate I've ever done, so I was feeling super content!

Miriam's coordinate was so pretty! I always love her cute AP look that have the perfect balance of wearability and fanciness! We've now met in Paris and London! I wonder which city we'll get to hang out in next!? We'll have to see where future events take us!

Soon it was time to get my models ready for the fashion show. Goodness, what an experience that was. We entered the crowded, narrow changing room. The scent of stale sweat was in the air, and it felt hot and cramped. There were people undressing, casually pulling off shirts and changing into elaborate dresses. It was absolute chaos, and I loved the feeling of anticipation, and the energy that emanated from the space. Bizarrely, I felt totally in my element. I managed to find a little alcove for my models and one of their friends, and together we managed to get everybody looking just right Seemingly all of a sudden, it was time for everyone to file out, and get ready to walk. I wished my models the best of luck, and rushed off to get my camera so I could film them in the show. 

Maddie joined me for the show, we ended up in the last row but one. At first I thought we had the worst seats, and then I realised this meant we would be able to see very clearly the entirety of all the models' walks. The fashion show began.

I knew my girls were further down the list, so I waited patiently as the other indie designer's pieces were presented. There were some really interesting pieces, and familiar faces wearing them. 

Somehow, I managed to get a very lucky snap of none other than my blogging buddy Cupcake Kamisama, who was an absolute sass queen during her walk. I am so pleased I got to meet her and have a chat with her, though it's a shame we didn't get a chance to get a photo together as planned. Still, I'm sure we are bound to cross paths again!

Finally, it was my three models' turn. You can see how they did here in this video, and again here (be prepared for the cuteness). So, let me just say how unbelievably proud I felt watching them. When it was all over, I teared up and it took every ounce of self restraint for me not to let it spill over and ruin my makeup. To have models wearing my designs in a fashion show is something I could only dream of this time four years ago, when I attended my first big lolita event, Frock On! On that day, I had a handful of handmade ribbon bows to put in the bring and buy, and the fact a few of them sold motivated me to do more, to learn more, to let Sugar Trampoline take shape. To be a vendor with a whole booth's worth of items this past weekend, and people who recognised my brand... really, it was a dream come true and I will never forget it. 

Here's me with my models, Rachel, Sophie, and Queenie! I love how they each brought their own individual style and vibe to their pieces.

I feel so privileged to have been able to work with such lovely people, and I hope I will see them again at future meets or events!

After the fashion show was over, and had been such a success, is when I felt I could really relax! Sales continued over the afternoon, and I got to chat to so many different people. It was great to have so many of my friends all in one place, coming to see how things were going for me, and stopping by for a quick chat in the busyness and chaos of the day. I even got filmed! You never really feel like you got to say everything you wanted to say to certain people, or as though you took all the pictures you wanted to take, but that's OK I guess. Rather than be disappointed, I can only be proud of how far I've come-- at previous events I felt isolated, anxious and out of place, often feeling too awkward to talk to people as much as I would have liked. I have so much more confidence than I ever have, and even though I still have a long way to go, I'm pleased with where I am right now, and I 100% made the most of my time at this event!

I finally got to meet Rosalynn, who I've been following since the very start of her Lolita Wonderland blog! It was great to chat to her, and especially to meet her in a super sweet AP coordinate!

With Emmy and Taylor! It was lovely to see my local old comm pals, and I loved how they twinned!

Reina and Wing stopped by my stall for a quick chat and for this lovely snap! It's always great to hang out with these two gorgeous people, who are two of my oldest friends through lolita fashion!

Maddie hung around for a bit and I was pleased I got to see her awesome ringmaster style coordinate! She also patiently took photos of me at my stall. I'm always grateful for people who are OK with helping me get the picture I want, haha! She was remote vending some of her beautiful brooch series.

Your fave kawaii shopkeeper.

With Sammi, who helped me out so much that day (as did Nicola, who gave me some very needed onigiri later in the afternoon. Too kind!) I loved the stack of pancakes she made to match her dress! This is a very civilised photo compared to our photobooth snap, where I thought it would be a great idea to carry her on my back for one of the frames!

After getting a very short, and interrupted sleep the night before (I actually had some nightmares... I guess it was the stress of the pending event!) and rushing around all day being here, there, and everywhere, I was absolutely cream-crackered by the time the evening rolled around, to the extent I didn't have the energy to stay for the ending raffle. At 7pm, I packed up my stall, toned down my coord to make public transport easier, and headed home. 

If it wasn't already clear, I had an absolutely incredible time at Dream Masquerade Carnival! It was a huge push outside my comfort zone and I loved every minute of it. It was a confidence boost seeing people admiring my brand's offerings, and having several people stop by my stall after the fashion show to ask when my cherry print series would be available (soon. Just let me have a couple weeks off from sewing first, haha!), and to sell a lot of pieces of the course of the day. I did better in a single day at DMC with only a few hundred attendees than I did over three days at Hyper Japan, with tens of thousands of attendees. It's clear what my niche is, much as I might try to run away from it.

Surprisingly, and somewhat annoyingly depending on how you look at it, this past weekend really re-ignited my love for lolita. I don't think I have ever felt so good in any outfit ever, and I don't particularly want to give up on that feeling, or the strong sense of community I felt surrounded by people who have grown to become good friends over time. 

So, Saturday of Dream Masquerade Carnival? An absolute banger where I made memories I will cherish for years to come. ❤

♥ New Video! A Very Pink Haul ♥

Hey everyone!

I had a few days off from work this week, which has been pretty refreshing. It's mainly rained these three days, but it's been a peaceful sort of gloom. I love to crack open the window and have the sound of gentle rainfall as background noise.

Most of my free time has been spent sewing and working on my business, but I surprised myself and on the spur of the moment, recorded a haul video!

I've been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone more, and I realise a big part of why I didn't make videos regularly is because I would spend so much time picking apart my appearance, mannerisms, voice, and personality afterwards. I'm trying to move beyond that now, and have a lot more love for myself.

I enjoyed making this video and it was fun editing it (even if faffing around with YouTube's soon-to-be defunct basic editor because you don't have an actual video editing programme on your computer isn't the best thing in the world!) I hope this can serve as being one piece of that journey towards being kinder to myself ^_^

Anyways... 

I hope you enjoy it! ❤

My Thoughts on "So Pretty/Very Rotten" by Jane Mai and An Nyugen 📖

Hey everyone! Long time no see!

I've been pretty quiet lately as work has more or less taken over my life! I work full time, but I also work on my business in my free time, and I have an event coming up I've been frantically preparing for on the off chance I get time and energy to spare, so things are pretty chaotic for me at the moment! It has been nice, though, when I do find those snatches of time before bed to do something calming, such as reading. 

As someone who got into lolita fashion during a time when livejournal was the central hub for the community, and an English literature grad, I became very interested in purchasing "So Pretty/Very Rotten", as it had been a long time since I had heard of a lolita related project heavily focused on experiences, essays, and interviews like this. The following is my personal response towards the book. I hope you enjoy it!

I really like the colours and artwork used for the front cover! It's romantic, and suits a book about lolita fashion perfectly!

The lace design used on the back is really cool!

When I received it, I was at first surprised by how chunky the book was. I expected it to be maybe 150 pages maximum, but ended up with over 300.

thicc

However, this is by no means a text-heavy volume, with most of the pages dedicated to several lolita-centred comics.

From what I've seen on other blogs etc, the general reception to this book has been very positive, and I do understand why. I have a huge appreciation for people who carry out careful research, and put the time and effort into creating content to be enjoyed by the community at large. The book consists of brief, but interesting, interviews with Novala Takemoto, who is apparently in the process of putting together an extensive book detailing the history of lolita fashion from its beginnings to present day.  There are comics introducing us to a variety of characters, many of whom seem to be "broken" or incomplete in some way. There are also essays looking into what makes up the aeesthetics of the fashion, its influences, as well as musings on the subculture at large. Others who reviewed the book seemed to see it as an interesting introduction to lolita fashion and the thoughts of the community's members. 

Did I have a lot of fun reading this book? Well, not really. I didn't find it to be particularly informative (but hey, I got into lolita rather a long time ago after all), and it certainly did not uplift me with its often brooding themes. But I will say that this book surprised me. My initial reaction was that I hadn't enjoyed it. I closed the book one night before bed feeling a little empty, and like the ending had been very abrupt and inconclusive. On reflection, though, I realised the book had probably done what it set out to do-- it made me think.

I enjoyed the variety in the artwork-- some of it was soft, simple, and adorable like this! Also, I appreciated the well-dressed wlw couple!

So many of the sentiments in this book hit really close to home: that sense of being made unhappy by something that once brought you immense joy, the struggle to remain passionate and healthy-minded in the face of a increasing sense of competition amongst your peers, and the pressures of consuming more and more in what started off as an alternative, rule-breaking subculture which encouraged modification and creativity in clothes.

A huge reason for me losing a lot of interest in lolita fashion is because of the way in which the fashion changed (the current trends bear little resemblance to the fashion I initially fell in love with, and certainly don't feel like a street fashion anymore) but also the way in which the community became overwhelmingly large, and as a result felt less like a subculture as time went on. Everything became too accessible and no longer "special", over-saturated, and oftentimes meaningless as common interests held by its members became fewer and farther between. I could be surrounded by people at meets and yet feel inescapably lonely and discontent. These comics explore some of these sentiments, from a grotesque exaggeration of someone who would do anything to fuel their creative pursuits, to a short story involving an emotionally distant girl who eventually leaves the fashion altogether, to another to shrouds herself in the beauty of these clothes to escape the sad reality of her living situation. There are moments in which this book takes disturbing turns and poses the question: do we see ourselves within these characters? I think for many of us, the answer would be yes.

This was not a feel-good read for me, but it left a huge impression on me, and a desire to do my own explorations of similar topics. Why is it, I wonder, that even the most beautiful things can be so ugly, so rotten at their core? Perhaps it's just a law of nature, that "yin and yang" that means that everything is interconnected, both the good and the bad. All of those clichéd expressions are true-- there is a fine line between love and hate, and while exploring that can be scary, it's absolutely necessary.

I really enjoyed this illustrated lookbook accompanied by a really lovely, anecdotal commentary!

I think the parts I enjoyed the most were the passionate accounts of how different people got into lolita fashion in the first place-- what their first introduction was, what getting their first pieces felt like, and why it was meaningful for them. But of course, those inevitable counter stories about drifting away from the fashion had their place, too, and I couldn't help but be overcome by a wistfulness for simpler times. I was a mere teenager in the noughties when I first got into this fashion, and while so much has changed with it, so much has changed within myself, and reading this book felt like a way of confronting and coming to terms with that fact, as I have been for a while now.

As this book managed to get me mulling over it for days afterwards, it's only natural that I would recommend you get yourself a copy. I expect you might have a different reception to it, but this is what it did for me, and I never have any regrets about reading anything that makes me think, or allows me to continue on with a newfound perspective. I didn't always find it enjoyable, and there were parts that I felt could have done with a re-write because they were clunky to read. But certainly, it instilled within me the motivation to write this review, but also reminded me how important it is to keep writing in general. It's important to document any alternative fashion, subculture, or interest. I'm very much an "archivist" and I would like to think that here and there, I have contributed in some way to archiving thoughts, feelings, insights and information that will give people an understanding of what lolita was for someone in the 2010s.

My rating for "So Pretty/Very Rotten" is 3 out of 5 stars. Jane Mai and An Nygen deserve a pat on the back because this book is a wonderful achievement in terms of adding to the library of lolita-related content, but it certainly won't be for everyone, and won't teach any seasoned lolitas anything new.

Did you read this book? What did you think of it? I would love to hear your responses to the topics it covers in the comments! Thank you so much if you read all the way to the end, and I'll see you next time ❤