Lolita Fashion and Minimalist Lifestyle

Something that seems to be gaining a lot of traction in blogger and vlogger circles is minimalism-- that is, getting rid of anything that isn't essential to your day to day life in order to simplify it, thus encouraging you to live life more fully than you might if you're heavily focused on your possessions. As soon as I heard about this lifestyle I was very interested in it, and immediately began applying its principles to my life.

I have been watching a lot of extreme minimalist YouTubers lately, trying to decide how I feel about the lifestyle on that level. Honestly, while I am totally behind the idea of simplifying your life (last year it was a series of de-cluttering videos that inspired me to get rid of a load of junk, re-organise my clothing, and feel a lot better for it) I'm not overly impressed by a lot of what I've been seeing these days. Perhaps it's because I sense a certain undercurrent to their life philosophy that seems to say: "if you don't follow this lifestyle you are inherently less enlightened and probably don't lead a fulfilling life." Or maybe it's because it infringes on my lolita sensibilities. By their definition, the fact I own an array of clothes isn't very minimalist of me.

In my opinion, extreme "hipster" minimalism is just the cousin of materialism, only this time with a pseudo-intellectual mission statement. I have felt this more and more as I see videos dedicated to getting the number of items a person possesses down to a specific amount, like 50, and a constant showing off of how few things they own, and how easily they can be transported. Rather than sticking to what I assume the initial purpose of minimalism was, it's become entirely about numbers and one-upmanship for some people. Are they really much different to those who like to have a lot of possessions, who want to complete certain collections or aim to have x-amount of a particular item? I'm not so sure. Taking anything to an extreme level tends to be a bad idea.

Still, I think it's perhaps the excess of materialism that is the more immediate, dangerous cousin of the two, and lolita fashion is something that seems to drive a lot of people towards it whether I like to admit it or not. Discussions in lolita Facebook groups about shopping addictions, getting overdrafts to pay for dresses, and other financial irresponsibility with regards to acquiring new releases are worryingly common. I can't help thinking that some of these people would benefit from applying minimalism to their life.

Despite all this, I don't believe that lolita is completely at odds with minimalism if you go into it with the right mindset. Lolitas get a bad rap at times, and are often described as being materialistic or spoilt by outsiders. It probably doesn't help that some of the most popular lolita videos out there are unboxings, haul videos, and wardrobe tours; these are all very much focused on possessions and acquisition of said possessions, which can cause viewers to feel inadequate and thus view such content as something to aspire to. There are so many lolitas who are incredibly visible and popular online, presenting very attractive, luxurious lifestyles, which seem to have spawned a competitiveness, and a need to "keep up" with other lolitas that was never previously present to this extent.

Interestingly, though, lolitas are often very fluid when it comes to possessing clothing. The secondhand marketplace has always thrived, and many lolitas will sell off items after a mere season, so they can afford new releases from the next one. In this way, wardrobes don't become out of control, pieces get re-used by other lolitas rather than ending up in landfill, and a lolita's life isn't ruled by their possessions as they have no intense emotional connection to them. Some lolitas really do have huge collections, but they are often daily lolitas/lolitas who are able to wear the fashion very often. If all of your possessions have a purpose, aren't taking over your life, and aren't causing you financial instability, I don't think it's necessary to downsize for the sake of a minimal aesthetic, and I believe it's possible to be passionate about lolita without it leading to your eventual downfall.

There are lolitas like myself, for example, who rarely sell off their pieces, and don't really keep up with acquiring new releases, or adopting current trends. I have been building my lolita wardrobe for 6 years and it now fills up a free-standing wardrobe. It's not big. I am not a shopping addict, am pretty frugal when it comes to treating myself to physical items, and have always added to my wardrobe at a very slow pace. When I see something hung up that I'm not into anymore, or I haven't worn for a long time, I sell it. My pieces get a lot of love, and I wear them in heavy rotation. I own a fair amount of miscellaneous junk outside of my lolita collection, but I know that those things are replaceable (and I don't even think I want to replace most of it. I've got so much crap to get rid of, and am looking forward to the space it will free up afterwards, both physically and mentally) and therefore have no control over me. It's funny really-- I actually think getting into lolita helped me to conquer a hoarding mindset I used to have in other areas of my life, because my new focus became quality, rather than quantity. Maybe being a lolita minimalist isn't quite as far-fetched a concept as one might initially think! As with anything in life, it's what you bring to it that counts, and if what you bring to lolita is a healthy mindset towards your possessions, I don't see why it isn't possible to create a lifestyle complementary to both lolita and minimalism.

While I disagree with the increasingly popular, extreme version of minimalism presented in certain circles of YouTubers lately, I think the re-evaluation that minimalism encourages is something that should be a regular part of our lives, and can be really useful where a lolita wardrobe is concerned. As an exercise, I would suggest you take a look at your wardrobe. Is your spending getting out of control? What do you hope to gain by making your next purchase? Are there pieces you never wear? Are there items collecting dust that you keep for "sentimental value"? Do you feel overwhelmed when you think of your possessions? Sometimes we need to be a little drastic with ourselves, and make sure we are not hoarding things or making bad financial decisions just to fulfill what is really a mental or emotional void. Or, quite simply, it might just be time for a spring clean.

And what if you don't want to get rid of rarely worn items? Then wear them! Push yourself to come up with a new way of coordinating your pieces. Show them some love. There's nothing wrong with having a lot of things if they all have a purpose and bring happiness to your life. I haven't yet had a chance to read Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" (which I'm told is a good read if you're in an organisational rut), but I do know of the main KonMari principle: keep only the things which spark joy. That seems like a good motto to live by, in addition to all things in moderation.

Do you consider yourself a minimalist, or the complete opposite? I'd love to know about your relationship with your possessions, and how it informs your choices when it comes to your lolita wardrobe!

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time ❤

A Sewing Project!

Hey everyone!

For today's post, I thought I would share with you how I spent the 1st of April. 

I bought some fabric an absolute age ago with the intention of making a skirt. I pre-washed the fabrics and ironed them ready for sewing and then... that's as far as I ever got with it. I am a perfectionist and this in turn can make me a procrastinator, where I find myself not wanting to embark on something lest it doesn't turn out perfectly. I also become disheartened very easily when I don't understand things, and something I have always struggled with is following instructions. I have a sewing book filled with step by step explanations of various techniques and while I can tell it's a good book, the way things are explained in it absolutely baffles me. I'll look at the image for the first step of a technique and wonder "wait-- how did they get to that stage in the first place!?" My knowledge of sewing theory leaves a lot to be desired. The way I go about making things is to look at things I already have and study every detail, before (with the aid of having watched sewing tutorials or read sewing blogs and taken in the images as best I can) drawing up my own imagined pattern or plan of how that thing was probably made, and finally tweaking it to my current requirements. That's how I approached making the skirt.

I measured the hem of a skirt that I liked the fit of and used that as a guideline for how much fabric I would need. I think the most tedious part of the whole process was dealing with the lining, which my overlocker really didn't like due to me being too stressed to sit and figure out how much I needed to adjust the differential feed to cope with slippery fabric. I think I must have spent a total of about 8 hours making this skirt. The first time making anything is always the worst, I guess, but when I finally finished (well, there's still a couple of things I need to tweak and I have yet to make a matching hairbow), I thought to myself "is sewing really for me because right now I want to chuck my sewing machine out the window and watch it sail... sail down to the ground and before it shatters into a million pieces." I made so many mistakes along the way that I had to go back and correct that I was pretty sick of the sight of all my sewing supplies by the end of it.

Sewing the hem! I chose a super thick cotton lace for the job. I wish it were a little more detailed but I'm fairly content with how it looks.

The finished product! I really like fruit prints so this fabric spoke to me. I was somewhat inspired by Angelic Pretty's Drained Cherry series, and general retro fashion.

 Probably the neatest sewing of my life happened on that hem.

I somehow got the length of the skirt perfect for me. The lining came up a little short but I'd rather it too short than too long. I included a built in pocket on the right hand side (another idea that Angelic Pretty gave me!), and the back of the skirt is elasticated. I didn't include a side zipper because honestly, I think that would have pushed me over the edge. I don't find that I need one anyway, as the skirt stretches enough to just slide on. There's a few things I would change, such as making the elastic a little longer so the waist is more forgiving should my waist measurement fluctuate, and making the elastic for the top channel wider, but these are details that come with practice.

When all's said and done, this came out bloody well for my very first skirt. The aim of the project was to see whether or not this is something I could potentially offer in my shop in future, but honestly, even with improvement on the finer details and finish, and getting faster at making the skirt, I don't really see it being profitable. I would want to charge enough for the skirt that it would cover the materials but also pay myself a decent wage for my time, and I just don't think people would pay the figure I have in mind. My business plan constantly seems to be changing. This time last year I was planning on showcasing jumperskirt designs. Although I'm not glad that I went through a real motivation slump last year and didn't even finish putting together my mock ups, I'm kind of glad I never carried out that plan because I think I would have ended up with dresses I couldn't sell, or would eventually have to let go of for cheap. It's not as bold and varied as I'd initially planned, but I think for now, keeping the clothing I offer as being just bloomers seems to be the way to go because it actually fills a niche, and is going all right thus far.

Speaking of, I'll be doing my first big convention in July, an event called Hyper Japan. I have so much to make and do, but I know I can manage it if I plan it all out properly. It's going to be quite the financial investment (the cost of a weekend's accommodation in London is going to be particularly dear) but all I can do is hope that it will pay off. Wish me luck in selling a decent amount of stock so that I don't regret the "follow your dreams" approach to life I seem to be taking.

That's all for now. I'll save the rest of my weekend anecdotes for another day. Thank you so much for reading, and let me also take a moment to express my gratitude towards those who take time out of their day to leave me a comment as well! It means a lot to me. I don't have a large follower count by any means but I still didn't think it would ever get to this many, especially as I'm obviously a bit of an eccentric. I hope you will continue to enjoy my blog, and if for any reason you decide it's not for you anymore, thank you for the time that you did stick around and I wish you all the best. 

My ending question for you today is, have you gotten up to any sewing/craft/general life projects lately? I'd love to know how they went for you! See you next time ❤

Lolitas in Love: Wunderwelt's New Ad

For those unaware, Wunderwelt is a secondhand clothing shop similar to Closet Child. I've never purchased from them myself but have lusted over many of the lovely old school pieces that constantly seem to pop up on their website, and been pleasantly surprised by how reasonably priced much of it is (I promise this is not a sponsored blog post). They recently released a pair of video adverts for their shop. On a whim, I decided to watch one of them. I happened upon the "dark" one first, and when I did, I felt kind of emotional— a sentiment I've not seen expressed by anyone else thus far. I'm not even sure if I can articulate my feelings properly, but I'll do my best because I absolutely adored what I saw for a multitude of reasons.

I found this advert beautiful. sensual, and incredibly romantic. A few people on Rufflechat (and one particular prat on YouTube) expressed their disdain for the lack of chastity displayed in this advert. I wonder if the outrage is purely because people are desperate to separate lolita from anything relating to sexuality, or if it's the lesbian overtone of the advert people are really taking issue with. Perhaps nothing too deep was thought about in the planning of the advert... and yet I find there is so much in it to take notice of and analyse.

The advert is very simple, depicting two young women taking part in a series of activities together, such as eating, playing with teddy bears, laughing, applying one another's makeup, and sitting together to share loving moments. The overly romantic tone of this video is something I really appreciate, as I feel that lolita is an incredibly romantic fashion on a merely aesthetic level. With this in mind, it only seems natural that this romance could then work its way into the social dynamics between those who wear the fashion. I like the dark, disconcerting moments in which the eerie music almost clashes with the gentle interactions between the two characters. The footage is shot beautifully, and filled with rich, jewel tones. This makes an interesting contrast to the "sweet" Wunderwelt advert, which uses a lot of the same footage, but applies a lighter colour filter and music. 

 

The tone of this version of the advert is more child-like and typical of what we tend to see in lolita fashion advertising, which generally seeks to reinforce the idea that lolita clothing is used to unlock a sense of childhood wonder. I dislike the music chosen for this advert, as I find its circus theme a little too infantile. The relationship between the women in the advert comes across as being a platonic but nevertheless close friendship, and is fairly free from sapphic undertones. I came away from watching it with no real reaction to it because it didn't grab my attention, or do much more than maintain the "kawaii" status quo. This advert is purely an advert, with an obvious focus on creating a lolita-influenced, whimsical atmosphere to reflect the chosen outfits, rather than telling any particular story. Despite being predominantly a sweet lolita, I did not connect to this version of the advert at all.

The "dark" advert, however, was able to draw me in due to its focus on characterisation and context, consistently suggesting that while the two women enjoy spending time together because they share a love of dressing up, they also do so because they are romantically connected to one another, and are in a loving relationship. This adds a whole new dynamic to the proceedings. There is a scene in particular in which one of the women places her arms around her presumed girlfriend from behind, in an embrace that is delicate and protective.

This scene is so beautifully done, with the couple sat in a large cage, with the embraced lolita holding a skull. I see the cage as indicative of them caught in this budding romance, which is set to be lifelong, as implied by the obvious image of death represented by the skull. The slight morbidity also provides a refreshing nod to lolita's once heavily gothic and visual kei influences.

The next scene finds them looking directly at the camera, where the same, gothic-clad character (as before) takes the lead and gently, with a tender caress, turns to face her girlfriend, suggesting they are about to kiss. I found myself watching with bated breath—not only does this scene remove all doubt as to the nature of their relationship, it also implies a sense of rebellion and provocation. Their direct gaze suggests that although they are fully aware they are under the scrutiny of others, they refuse to let this affect their bond.

The advert ends with a few shadowy moments between the two characters, in which they place their hands on top of one another's, and then gently touch one another's faces before the implied kiss is cleverly obscured by a bonnet due to the camera angle.

This is all, of course, just my take on the advert and how I’ve chosen to read into it. The wonderful thing about art is that every person who experiences it adds their own meaning to it. I don't really know what the initial intended message of the advert by its creators is supposed to be, or if there was even supposed to be a message at all. What I do know for certain is that I really love the fact that a lolita consignment shop would present a story of romance between two women as a way of advertising their company. While it's possible they took this approach solely to seem edgy, different, and effectively set themselves apart from their competitors, I still appreciate their decision to include representation for women-loving women (and to use an interracial pairing, to do so, no less).

I think it's best that the lack of sexual undertone to lolita fashion is emphasised, but I do think it's necessary to accept that those who wear the fashion are in fact real people, with their own lives that are likely to involve romantic (and even sexual) exploration. To acknowledge this is not going to be detrimental to the image of lolita fashion as a whole. I like the advert's delicate suggestiveness, such as the slowed down clips of the women feeding one another, and doing one another's lipgloss. I find it an adorable depiction of exploring your feelings for someone else after having been brought together by the same hobby. Had the advert gotten in any way sexually charged, with the two characters undressing one another for example, I would probably have a different view of the advert, and would be more receptive of people's concerns. As it is, I don't see a gentle depiction of two women in love as being particularly risqué or negative.

One criticism I do have is that the romantic relationship is only properly explored in the "dark" version of the advert, which could imply that lesbianism in lolita is taboo, or a secret that must be kept behind closed doors, enveloped in darkness. It’s something we find in modern cinema, even, where films will be given higher age certificates if there is any mention of homosexual romance, as though homosexuality is inherently a sexually explicit, mature concept that younger viewers must not be exposed to while, any heterosexual pairing is acceptable for all the family to witness.

I would like to believe that the darker tone is being used merely to indicate that it's aimed at a gothic, or more elegantly-inclined audience than a sweet one, and the characterisation has been upgraded from a one-dimensional “cutesy” narrative to illustrate this.

I have always struggled to relate to mainstream depictions of what romance and relationships should be due to their heteronormativity. I remember being in my teens and trying so hard to fit in and be like all of the other girls at school, who would talk endlessly about their crushes, who were of course boys—the more “masculine” the better. Admitting that I didn't really have those feelings was a no-no, and I spent years hiding my genuine feelings, which swayed much more heavily towards femininity. Maybe my emotional response to Wunderwelt's advert is influenced by those experiences, and how validated and normal I know I would have felt had I seen it then.

One thing that drew me to lolita fashion in my newbie days is how completely acceptable it was to openly admire other women, and to be part of a community where the vast majority of members were women. Although I have never sensed any kind of homoerotic atmosphere at a meetup, there is sometimes a romantic feeling that none of us even stop to think about, seen in the way we are comfortable fixing one another's hair, adjusting one another's skirt hems, and complimenting one another’s appearances. There is absolutely no shame in any of this, and I am proud of be part of a subculture where people are secure enough in themselves to not flinch away at any same-gender contact while wildly declaring "no homo"— an unfortunate mentality I've found in other spaces, such as education or the workplace.

Those who were upset by Wunderwelt's advert seemed to equate implied lesbian romance with excessive sexiness, or they felt Wunderwelt was pushing some kind of erotic, fanservice agenda. I understand these viewpoints. Due to how unusual this advert is in the realm of lolita advertising, it is unsurprising that some would react with suspicion, and assume the lesbian love story was created merely as a pandering device. Those who praised the advert seemed mainly to be those lolitas identifying under the LGBT umbrella, or simply unconcerned about how outsiders might view our subculture should they stumble upon the advert.

I do not think anyone outside of lolita who chances upon this advert is going to jump to any bizarre conclusions as to what the subculture is about. I think they will merely see a romantic video where the leads happen to be two young women wearing pretty dresses. But honestly, at this point, I don't really care what people outside of lolita think about lolita.

What did you think of Wunderwelt's advert? I'd love to know how you reacted to it! Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you next time ❤

The Dream Dress

Lately, I've found myself really revisiting the first themes and dresses and prints I loved in lolita, inspired by the wardrobe posts being shared on egl in January. I always had an old school, more toned down sensibility about things, but I was also a die hard fan of sweet lolita, and the style of it that emerged around the late noughties. After dabbling for a year or so with high street loliables, Bodyline and finds from Sai Sai in Camden, I really wanted some brand. The first item to go onto my wishlist was Angelic Pretty's Miracle Candy. I wasn't sure if I wanted it in red or black, and if I wanted the jumperskirt or the OP. After a while, I decided it was too over the top, particularly in red, and I'd surely feel too self conscious to wear it outside even if I did own it. This was 2011. 

Fast forward to 2016 and I am a lot more confident in myself, and way less bothered about what people think about how I dress. I decided that if I only bought one dress this year, it had to be a game changer, and Miracle Candy was the only one of those I could think of, and there was only one colourway I could accept. It recently came up on Lacemarket. I pounced, and on Friday 4th March 2016, the dress was finally in my possession.

This is the only dress I've ever tried on that made me feel emotional when I looked in the mirror. I had gotten it into my head that there was no way this dress would fit me. I figured it would hit me mid-thigh and look terrible. But it didn't. The bodice, with its adorable candy brooches and pearl chain, sat where it was supposed to, and the skirt length was just right. I spun around a few times and watched as the glitter in the print sparkled as it picked up the light. What a moment.

The waist bow on this dress is obscenely perfect. 

 I love the detailed hem. Candy patterened broderie anglaise, candy striped ruffle, and adorable dot tulle.

It's funny really, because I don't even like sweets very much. I'm more into fruit and desserts, and I have a few prints with those themes in my collection. I wear a lot of black and tend to shy away from anything with too much oomph to it. But somehow, this dress is so inexplicably "me". 

The bottom line is, I have my dream dress and we're going to run off together to get married.

Do you have a dream dress? Do you own it yet or are you still on the hunt? I'd love to know which pieces get you going. Thanks for reading and see you soon! ❤

Settling into the New Year, and My Wardrobe 2016

Hey everyone! I hope the New Year is treating you well!

Despite a few ups and downs that have already taken place in my life, I'm still feeling pretty pumped for this year. I've avoided setting myself any lofty aims. If there's one thing I've learnt over the years, it's that some things can't be planned for, and even with hard work and the best intentions, life isn't always going to go the way you want it to. I think it's both more positive and productive to have a loose idea of what you would like to achieve in terms of emotional fulfillment, rather than setting yourself a list of strict, specific goals. 

When we have lots of things to do, it can be very overwhelming getting started, especially if you suffer with anxiety. One thing that helps me is having an organiser!

This is mine! It's from Paperchase. This will be my second year using it, though for my 2016 refill I decided to graduate from plain white paper to this super cute floral design, which is a pleasure to see every time I have to write something on it. Writing things down helps me to organise my thoughts, and it means I don't forget or miss anything important. I know this sort of thing doesn't work for everyone, though, so you have to figure out what helps you stay on top of things and motivated. 

I got the idea of having a personal organiser from my time spent in education. Throughout school, we were given free homework diaries, which were essentially spiral bound organisers. I bought myself my own when I got to university, and found that they were useful for any life scenario, not just assignments and essay deadlines. Plus, generally speaking, nice stationery makes me weak at the knees. 

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January, of course, means that it's time for egl's annual wardrobe theme. I love how active the comm becomes each time, even if it only lasts for a month. I find looking at other people's wardrobes both soothing and inspiring. 

It has been a very busy month for me thus far, so I haven't had much chance to look at other people's posts as much as I would like to. But today is Saturday. It's my day off. I have no social plans. Now is the perfect time for me to settle down with a cup of my favourite loose leaf tea and really give all the posts I've missed my full attention! 

I love this mug! It's another cute Paperchase item (as you can probably tell, I'm a longtime fan of that shop). Butterfly designs never fail to make me happy, plus it holds two cups of tea in it, which is most convenient. 

I'm always envious of people who are able to make their wardrobe posts so crisp and clear, with creative setups and gloriously perfect natural lighting. I've yet to make this happen for myself, but hopefully my own post is decent enough!

http://egl.livejournal.com/20027662.html

When I compare my wardrobe to other people's, I notice that it's pretty small! The thing is, I never feel particularly limited by it, and when I wasn't working full time, I still managed to be a daily lolita with my collection. I think the fact I've put so much focus on making it as cohesive as possible has meant that coordinating is very easy for me. Sure, you will have seen me in all my pieces many times before, but probably never coordinated in the same way! I'm very happy with my wardrobe, and I know my 16-year-old self would be mesmerised if she could see where I've ended up now!

Going forward, I would like to add more old school pieces into my wardrobe, as I think it's a style that suits me well, and the pieces are usually understated enough to be worn more or less anywhere. On the flip side to this, I would also like to buy some of the sweet prints that were in vogue when I was just getting into lolita-- all those mid to late noughties prints that almost seem old school in their own right given how much the fashion has changed since then. I would also like to get some new shoes, and stray away from sticking to those Bodyline tea party style shoes all the time. Overall, though, I'm pretty content, and it's a great feeling.

What do you do to get yourself motivated for the year ahead? Have you/will you make a wardrobe post? Do let me know in the comments! See you next time, and thanks for reading ❤

2015 Lolita Goals Revisited + An End of Year Summary

At the start of 2015, I came up with some lolita goals, so I think it only makes sense that I revisit them now the year is finally over!

Get more old school items into my wardrobe.✔

I made a lot of progress in getting more old school clothing and accessories, and it's been pretty exciting for me as I feel like I'm truly indulging in what made me love lolita in the first place. I'm more excited about my new items than I used to be, and it's a great feeling.

Branch out with footwear.✘

I failed at this one miserably. I tried ordering a pair of cute, chunky lolita shoes online and ended up getting shoes which were too small even though I sized up a bit just in case! Better luck next time, I guess.

Buy a plain black bag! ✔

The plain black back came in the form of a super cute Angelic Pretty boston bag I got on the auctions early this year, and it's basically the bag I carry the majority of the time now.

Stop forgetting the wardrobe staples! ✔

I made sure to get some more basic items like blouses and knitwear, though I don't expect that aspect of my wardrobe will ever be truly complete! I am seriously looking forward to doing my wardrobe post for January 2016. Not a whole lot has changed, but the changes really round things off nicely.

Visit Baby, The Stars Shine Bright in Paris! ✔

I was so thrilled that I managed to see not only Paris, but the Baby shop located there! The emptiness of the shop was a little disappointing, but I had a pretty magical experience nonetheless.

Make my own "main pieces" of lolita clothing.✘

I made a ridiculous amount of bloomers this year, but made very little progress in the way of main pieces. I had a motivation slump in the summer, did a lot of procrastinating, and then ended up having neither the energy nor the necessary free time to figure out the projects I drew up for myself. Next year, for sure.

Have a stall at a lolita event.✘

This one is probably the biggest disappointment for me as I've applied to be a vendor at numerous lolita events at this point. All I can do is use it as fuel to work harder, be better, and know that I can make the best of the opportunity when the time comes. And I believe it will. I have a lot of faith in myself, even though that procrastinating side of me tries to kill it.

Well, 3/6 ain't bad.

I don't know if I'm going to bother setting any lolita goals for 2016. Making resolutions is a bit restricting, especially where something as open as your personal style and involvement in subculture goes. I don't think there's any specific things I want to achieve now. I just hope to have as much fun as I can. go on as many great adventures as possible, and wear great coordinates while doing it.

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2015 was a challenging year, but I feel positive about who I've become as a person as a result. I undoubtedly have a lot more confidence in myself than I did one year ago. I have faith in myself, and I think it is mainly down to the fact this year was so drastically different from any other year I've experienced before. It was my first year outside of education since I was a small child. More or less my entire life had been shaped by a strict regime of academia and forced interactions with people I'd rather forget-- people who tore me down and made me feel unworthy of love. 2015 was the first year I was able to let go of a great deal of the emotional baggage that had built up over the years to smother me everywhere I went.

I used to be the sort of person who was always terrified of change, but now I seem to embrace it with open arms. I want change. I find myself getting restless when it seems like things aren't moving forward quickly enough or transforming in some way. This restlessness inspired me to appreciate the beauty around me more, and go off in search of more of it. I went on lots of lovely solitary walks. I went out and took pictures of the nature. I tended to houseplants and bought a pot of my favourite flowers (daffodils). I was super observant of the gradual change of the seasons, and I appreciated them in a whole new way because they were no longer tied to terms or semesters or deadlines. I did a little travelling, and visited new places both at home and abroad. It was like I was really seeing all the gorgeous things in my life from a whole new perspective.

I think putting a lot of focus on my so-called "lolita lifestyle" was a very therapeutic thing for me. The various romantic additions to my day-to-day life proved so inspiring, and kept me going during the times when things felt hopeless, and the future looked overwhelmingly bleak. I think the most significant thing for me this year is that I haven't coped this well for an extended period of time since... goodness knows how long. My depression didn't have the stronghold it once did. I really kicked its arse this year to the extent that I sometimes forgot I even had it. I'm not going to get complacent and think it's gone for good, because I don't think it will ever fully disappear. But for now at least, I'm doing well, and while the future seems so uncertain, I also see that it's full of hope.

I would like to go back to blogging more in 2016, and putting together more topical posts and articles because I love doing those. Thank you so much to everyone who reads this blog and has been following my thoughts, ideas, and adventures up until this point! Your support and comments mean so much to me.

Happy New Year to you all, and I hope all of your wishes will come true. Here's to 2016! Let's make it a good one ❤

Ode to Autumn

Good day, my lovely readers! I dislike having long breaks in between my blog posts, but I also feel as though forcing myself to churn out content would be detrimental to its quality. Still, I'm going to work harder to be a little more disciplined about my writing. It's something I truly enjoy doing, and I think it deserves to have some more of my time devoted to it. Anyway... I'm back with some more musings.

In the month or so since my last post, the seasons have been changing. September is my favourite month, not only because it's when my birthday falls, but because it's when the first little whispers of autumn fill the air. My house is surrounded by trees and greenery, and it is all beginning to change colour, with the first magical golden leaves appearing. I don't quite know why I feel so drawn to this season. Maybe it's because it's always so short and sweet, full of colour and vibrancy. Fail to take notice and you might miss it entirely. Perhaps it's that bittersweet feeling I feel every time it ends that makes it all the more special to me. When you know you only have a limited time to enjoy something, it motivates you to go out of your way to make every second count, and stops you from ever taking it for granted.

 The view from one of the windows in my house on an autumn day.

It is this time of year I seem to spend the most time outdoors, going on walks and bike rides, and taking pictures of as many crimson leaves as I can find. I love this in-between temperature, where it's too warm to wear a coat, but too mild to leave the house without throwing on a cardigan before you leave the house. 

As you may have guessed by this point, I am autumn obsessed. Therefore, it is only sensible I share with you some ideas for making the most of this season, so you can join in with my fall fanaticism.

• If you have rich, or earthy colours in your wardrobe, now is the perfect time to wear them! If you are into mori fashion, this season is surely where you will feel most in your element.
• If you're into tea, why not try out some new flavours? I've recently discovered there is such thing as gingerbread tea and I fully intend to get in on the action.
• Organise a lolita woodland ramble! If you live somewhere with a lot of wooded areas, it could be a nice change of pace to go on an autumnal outing with your friends. You could collect pine cones, and horse chestnuts for decorative purposes if you're into that kind of thing. I know I am.
• Take lots of pictures. Could this season be any more beautiful for vibrant, atmospheric photoshoots!? That contrast between the fiery leaves on the trees, and the perfectly clear blue sky always makes for some breathtaking images.
• Get started on your themed lolita coordinate for Halloween! I love to see broken dolls, tasteful guro, witchy outfits, and vampirey gothic looks. It's one day of the year you can be truly outrageous and imaginative with your coordinate as you won't look out of place to people outside of the fashion!
• Do some baking. Make spookily-decorated Halloween biscuits or share out fairy cakes at your next meetup. Have a go at deliciously warm apple pies or crumbles, and rich pumpkin desserts.
• Are you a scrapbook lover? Why not try adding pressed autumn leaves to your pages, and creating fun earthy mood boards.
• Go antique shopping! There's something so cosy and nostalgic about visiting secondhand shops. Perhaps you will find some new items to match the decor of your living space, or even a loliable item of clothing, depending on what kind of shop it is.

A picture I took at a shop called the Courtyard At No. 6 in Buckingham, England.

• Put together a Halloween meetup! You could visit a themed café, go on a local ghost walk, carve pumpkins (though make sure you have a cute apron on hand!) or host a movie night with your closest friends in your community! I personally like to do tarot reading on this day!
• Visit a local craft fair or event. These are fun places to browse and perhaps take home a special, unique item for yourself or someone you love.
• Channel some autumnal vibes into your creative outlet of choice. Make a vivid, nature inspired painting, write story set during this season, record a song inspired by your feelings during this season, or do a themed photoshoot. The possibilities for self expression are endless.
• Have a calm, quiet day to yourself to simply breathe in the fresh, earthy air and savour the gentle sunshine on your face. 

Many of these tips are based on the things I did last year and really enjoyed. I loved my university town. It was small, quaint, and filled with unusual independent shops, pop up markets, old listed buildings, and picturesque scenery. I can't help missing some of the places I used to haunt at this time of year, such as Secret Messages (click here to wander around the shop's three levels!) and the footpaths that weaved all around-- alongside the river, through woodland, and onto an abandoned railway bridge from which you had a clear view of the entire town. Oh, sweet nostalgia! Last autumn was a truly gorgeous time in my life, and I'm glad I captured so much of it through lovingly taken photographs. I can only hope I will be able to add some whimsy to life here in my hometown, where one has to do a bit more digging to find its beauty and quirks. I like the challenge, though, and hope to follow the suggestions from the above list I haven't tried here yet!

I overuse this photo, but it's probably my favourite non lolita picture of me, taken on Halloween 2014. It's so expressive of my love for this season (and for 90s style lunchboxes). I could have looked at those leaves all day long.

Do you like autumn? Have any special passtimes you enjoy doing at this time of year? I'd love to hear all about it! See you next time ❤